Top Ten Security Officers

The ship has a captain, a first officer, a doctor, an engineer and a pilot. Now it's time for a security officers.

Whether you call them security guards, stormtroopers or redshirts you'll probably need them in the end. Obviously there is a crossover with law enforcement, but I've resisted making this a list of my Top Ten police officers. Almost making the list were Aeryn Sun from Farscape and Star Trek's Lieutenants Yar and Reed.

Here's my list of Top Ten Security Officers:

10 - Detritus
The first Troll to join Discworld's Ankh-Morpork City Watch. Unintelligent even by Troll standards, his IQ has been boosted by a clockwork-powered fan in his helmet which cools his brain down to improve his mental capacity. He rose through the ranks to reach Sergeant and started a personal crusade against a Troll drug called Slab. Detritus carries battlefield artillery as a hand weapon and, in a fight, you would want him to be on your side.

9 - Mike Watt
Mike was thrown out of the Territorial Army because he stole a Chieftain tank and tried to invade Paris, but stopped at EuroDisney and got caught on Space Mountain. Tim's best friend in Spaced is always armed, efficient and provides security with a smile.

8 - Worf
Star Trek: The Next Generation's Klingon became security chief following the death of Tasha Yar. It was a promotion he found dishonourable, but it was an assignment he carried out impressively for the next seven years. Don't be fooled by the silly bouffant hair-do, his dour demeanour, his scowl, his martial arts ability and his skill with bladed weapons all made him an imposing security officer. You definitely wouldn't want to mess with Worf.

7 - Carrot Ironfoundersson
Captain of Ankh-Morpork's City Watch, six foot tall honorary Dwarf and heir to the city's throne. Carrot is very thorough and knows everyone in the city by name, but often struggles with the city's shades of grey. His literal mind causes friction with the likes of the city's, entirely legal, Thieves Guild and during a murder investigation he interviewed the Discworld's Death itself. He is just the sort of solid and dependable sort you would feel secure around.

6 - Tuvok
Star Trek: Voyager's Security Chief anticipated security risks and dealt with them in a very logical fashion. He investigated crimes, trained underperforming crewmembers, took command when necessary and even went undercover to provide security and he did so without the back up a Starfleet security officer could expect to receive in the Alpha Quadrant. Just don't let him investigate any motiveless crimes...

5 - Delphine Angua von Überwald
The first woman to join Discworld's Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Angua rose through the ranks to reach Captain. She is also a werewolf which heightens her senses and gives you another reason not to get on the wrong side of her. As a wolf she has a taste for chicken, but always returns in human form to leave some money for their previous owner. As a human she is a strict vegetarian. She describes herself as a wolf that lives with humans.

4 - Jayne Cobb
Less of a security guard and more of a mercenary. Firefly & Serenity's muscle could be mistaken for a very simple man who works for the highest bidder, but is actually a very simple man with hints at hidden depths who works for the highest bidder and occasionally feels guilt about who that bidder might be. He respects the chain of command: "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here!" Armed with a gun named Vera and a pretty cunning hat, 'The Hero Of Canton' is not someone you want to mess with.

3 - Odo
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine's Changeling Chief of Security was an outsider even among outsiders. The Constable's species had an inate sense of justice and Odo used his to police the spacestation under three very different political regimes stating "Laws change depending on who's making them, but justice is justice." His shapeshifting abilities enabled him to assume the form of an inanimate object, observe criminal activity and arrest accordingly, all without ever picking up a weapon.

2 - Agent 355
Y: The Last Man's Agent 355 was a Culper Ring secret agent who was assigned to be bodyguard to the last man alive. Handy with weapons and repeatedly fended off multiple attackers. She spent five years looking after man, Mann and monkey at close quarters without letting a love triangle distract her. Much.

1 - Samuel Vimes
To give him his full title: His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes. Yep. Vimes is in charge of the City Watch in Ankh-Morpork, but he isn't some chinless upper class twit. Instead he is a born copper who has married into the aristocracy and crucially he understands the mentality of the mob. He just gets people. Vimes won't tell you want you want to hear, but he will tell you what you need to hear. If you want to feel secure, Vimes is your man.

Who are your favourites?

Next month: Top Ten Firefly episodes.