Top Ten Doctor Who Christmas Specials

It's been ages since I did a top ten and since practically the only Christmas TV I've watched this year was the most recent Doctor Who Christmas special, I decided to write a top ten of Doctor Who Christmas specials, I've widened the definition to include Doctor Who on both the radio and the red button.

Worthy of special mentions are The Unquiet Dead, The Chimes Of Midnight, Death In Blackpool, Relative Dimensions, The Power Of Three and the Torchwood episode Out Of Time, all of which feature scenes set at Christmas, but were not broadcast on the big day itself. So, not making the cut are Voyage Of The Damned and The Time Of The Doctor.

Here's my list of Top Ten Doctor Who Christmas specials:

10 - Attack Of The Graske
The BBC Red Button thingy from 2005 sees David Tennant's Tenth Doctor foil a alien attempt to spoil Christmases modern and Victorian alike with help from you at home. It's better than it sounds. "If you turn the TV over to ITV, the galaxy may implode".

9 - The Runaway Bride
Catherine Tate's Donna made her first exit from the TARDIS on Christmas Day 2006, an episode with a fascinating new take on the relationship between Doctor and companion that also features a brilliant TARDIS versus car chase sequence, all the trappings of Christmas out to kill you and segways.

8 - The Snowmen
2012's Christmas special introduces Jenna Coleman...again. She is a real shot in the arm for the series and it's great to have her on board. And then she dies...again. And then in the last scene the episode reintroduces her...yet again.

7 - The Next Doctor
After three contemporary Christmases in a row, 2008's The Next Doctor sent the Tenth Doctor to 1851 to defeat the Cybermen in the snow. This episode was brilliantly pitched to take advantage the speculation about the who Tennant's replacement might be, by giving us The Next Doctor, even the real Doctor was fooled for a while. David Morrissey and Dervla Kirwan are great, both playing characters that aren't what they think they are with aplomb. That's right, I said aplomb.

6 - Last Christmas
Peter Capaldi's first Christmas is his Last Christmas. Nick Frost is fantastic as Santa Claus, while Alien, The Thing and Inception all compete to take over your dreams. And then Clara left, and then she didn't. I'm a little worried though that children watching may think Doctor Who just categorically told them that Father Christmas doesn't exist.

5 - The Doctor, The Widow And The Wardrobe
2011 saw Narnia meet Androzani as the Eleventh Doctor visited a forest where Christmas trees grow complete with ornaments. Clare Skinner is fantastic and the episode exploits the fact that Matt Smith was never better than when acting with children by bringing two along.

4 - The Dalek's Master Plan: The Feast Of Steven
Although not necessarily a special, the seventh episode of The Dalek's Master Plan fell on Christmas Day 1965. William Hartnell's First Doctor visits a 1960's police station at Christmas, then a silent movie set and the Doctor breaks the fourth wall by wishing a happy Christmas to the viewers at home. It's often dismissed as a runaround that has very little to with rest of The Dalek's Master Plan, but it's a lot of fun at a time when Doctor Who was going through a very bleak death-filled period.

3 - A Christmas Carol
Christmas 2010 was Matt Smith's first and his best. Michael Gambon and Katherine Jenkins are wonderful and the reveal of the Ghost of Christmas future is one of the best examples of timey wimey phenomena in the series.

2 - The End Of Time, Part One
The first half of David Tennant's swansong was broadcast on Christmas Day in 2009. Not particularly Christmassy and somehow all the more Christmassy for it. Tennant, Bernard Cribbins and John Simm give fantastic performances and the episode builds to what is possibly the best cliffhanger in the entire history of the TV show, which when you consider Doctor Who relied so heavily on its cliffhanger for the first twenty-six years is really something.

1 - The Christmas Invasion
The first real Christmas special still hasn't been bettered. 2005's The Christmas Invasion is a game of two halves and both are great. The newly regenerated Tenth Doctor sleeps through most of the first half almost leaving Rose to fend for herself (and her planet), a cup of tea later and the new Doctor is fighting fit and fantastic. Tina the cleaner, the royal family on the roof, post-amputation regrowth, "No second chances", snow that isn't snow, "Don't you think she looks tired" and sees Billie Piper, Jackie Tyler, Noel Clarke, Penelope Wilton and David Tennant at the top of their game.

Merry Christmas to you all.

What are your favourites?

Top Ten Movie Countdown Blogfest

Alex J. Cavanaugh is asking us to list our top ten favorite movies.

I struggled to limit it to just ten and made a longer list which included Moon, Papillon, Magnolia, Being John Malkovich, Stranger Than Fiction, There Will Be Blood, Aliens, Deconstructing Harry, Brazil among others...

Tommorrow I might have come up with a different list, so let's call this my top ten films of today:

10 - Withnail And I (1987)
An eminently quotable love letter to the end of an era.

9 - Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
Woody Allen's Greek Tragedy is a very funny, very clever and very rewarding watch.

8 - The Sword In The Stone (1963)
This is my absolute favourite animated film.

7 - Cool Hand Luke (1967)
The man the system couldn't break. They don't make anti-establishment films better than this.

6 - Four Lions (2010)
A comedy about suicide bombers could have been a horrific experience, but Four Lions deals with challenging subject matter so well that it's easy to enjoy the comedy on its own merits.

5 - Trainspotting (1996)
This inventive adaptation to a novel I would have presumed unfilmable really does have a lust for life.

4 - Son Of Rambow (2008)
A beautiful film about childhood, innocence and an obsession with a certain supersoldier. I'm always in the mood to watch this.

3 - The Wicker Man (1973)
Brilliantly bleak and your best chance to see Christopher Lee in drag.

2 - The Fisher King (1991)
Terry Gilliam's fairy tale of New York is a fantastic and heartbreaking film.

1 - The Station Agent (2003)
I adore this film.

What are your favourite films?

Top Ten Security Officers

The ship has a captain, a first officer, a doctor, an engineer and a pilot. Now it's time for a security officers.

Whether you call them security guards, stormtroopers or redshirts you'll probably need them in the end. Obviously there is a crossover with law enforcement, but I've resisted making this a list of my Top Ten police officers. Almost making the list were Aeryn Sun from Farscape and Star Trek's Lieutenants Yar and Reed.

Here's my list of Top Ten Security Officers:

10 - Detritus
The first Troll to join Discworld's Ankh-Morpork City Watch. Unintelligent even by Troll standards, his IQ has been boosted by a clockwork-powered fan in his helmet which cools his brain down to improve his mental capacity. He rose through the ranks to reach Sergeant and started a personal crusade against a Troll drug called Slab. Detritus carries battlefield artillery as a hand weapon and, in a fight, you would want him to be on your side.

9 - Mike Watt
Mike was thrown out of the Territorial Army because he stole a Chieftain tank and tried to invade Paris, but stopped at EuroDisney and got caught on Space Mountain. Tim's best friend in Spaced is always armed, efficient and provides security with a smile.

8 - Worf
Star Trek: The Next Generation's Klingon became security chief following the death of Tasha Yar. It was a promotion he found dishonourable, but it was an assignment he carried out impressively for the next seven years. Don't be fooled by the silly bouffant hair-do, his dour demeanour, his scowl, his martial arts ability and his skill with bladed weapons all made him an imposing security officer. You definitely wouldn't want to mess with Worf.

7 - Carrot Ironfoundersson
Captain of Ankh-Morpork's City Watch, six foot tall honorary Dwarf and heir to the city's throne. Carrot is very thorough and knows everyone in the city by name, but often struggles with the city's shades of grey. His literal mind causes friction with the likes of the city's, entirely legal, Thieves Guild and during a murder investigation he interviewed the Discworld's Death itself. He is just the sort of solid and dependable sort you would feel secure around.

6 - Tuvok
Star Trek: Voyager's Security Chief anticipated security risks and dealt with them in a very logical fashion. He investigated crimes, trained underperforming crewmembers, took command when necessary and even went undercover to provide security and he did so without the back up a Starfleet security officer could expect to receive in the Alpha Quadrant. Just don't let him investigate any motiveless crimes...

5 - Delphine Angua von Überwald
The first woman to join Discworld's Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Angua rose through the ranks to reach Captain. She is also a werewolf which heightens her senses and gives you another reason not to get on the wrong side of her. As a wolf she has a taste for chicken, but always returns in human form to leave some money for their previous owner. As a human she is a strict vegetarian. She describes herself as a wolf that lives with humans.

4 - Jayne Cobb
Less of a security guard and more of a mercenary. Firefly & Serenity's muscle could be mistaken for a very simple man who works for the highest bidder, but is actually a very simple man with hints at hidden depths who works for the highest bidder and occasionally feels guilt about who that bidder might be. He respects the chain of command: "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here!" Armed with a gun named Vera and a pretty cunning hat, 'The Hero Of Canton' is not someone you want to mess with.

3 - Odo
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine's Changeling Chief of Security was an outsider even among outsiders. The Constable's species had an inate sense of justice and Odo used his to police the spacestation under three very different political regimes stating "Laws change depending on who's making them, but justice is justice." His shapeshifting abilities enabled him to assume the form of an inanimate object, observe criminal activity and arrest accordingly, all without ever picking up a weapon.

2 - Agent 355
Y: The Last Man's Agent 355 was a Culper Ring secret agent who was assigned to be bodyguard to the last man alive. Handy with weapons and repeatedly fended off multiple attackers. She spent five years looking after man, Mann and monkey at close quarters without letting a love triangle distract her. Much.

1 - Samuel Vimes
To give him his full title: His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes. Yep. Vimes is in charge of the City Watch in Ankh-Morpork, but he isn't some chinless upper class twit. Instead he is a born copper who has married into the aristocracy and crucially he understands the mentality of the mob. He just gets people. Vimes won't tell you want you want to hear, but he will tell you what you need to hear. If you want to feel secure, Vimes is your man.

Who are your favourites?

Next month: Top Ten Firefly episodes.

Top Ten Pilots

Whether they sit in the pilot seat, at the helm or the conn, every spaceship needs someone to do the steering. After finding a captain, first officer, doctor and engineer, the fifth crew member I need to recruit is the pilot. It wasn't until I started compiling this list that I realised how few pilots in fiction are portrayed as anything other than fantastic.

Deserving of honourable mentions are M.A.S.K.'s Matt Trakker, Brad Turner and Vanessa Warfield, who all drove land vehicles that at the push of a button became aircraft as well as Miles Mayhem whose helicopter turned into an aeroplane and Millennium Falcon pilot extraordinaire Han Solo from Star Wars.

Here's my list of Top Ten Pilots:

10 - Mary Margaret O'Connell
Maggie to her friends. Northern Exposure's sarcastic and intelligent bush pilot would make a great companion on those those long isolated flights. She is the only woman to make the top ten which is disappointing because it seems art is barely imitating life and real life female aviators like Amy Johnson and Amelia Earhart.

9 - Geordi LaForge
One of the visual metaphors used to illustrate the technological advancement of Star Trek: The Next Generation saw them put a blind man in the driving seat. Geordi would become a better engineer than he was a helmsman and it would be the VISOR that gave him sight or his friendship with Data that would involve him in stories rather than his piloting abilities, but the precision with which he exercised the rest of his duties would have made him a safe pair of hands at the conn.

8 - Pilot
Farscape's pilot was simply called Pilot and as such didn't really have much of an identity outside of his duties. He was bonded to Moya, the living Leviathan ship, and guided her, was aware of her pain and was only able to leave her under very extreme circumstances.

7 - Virgil Tracy
The five Tracy brothers are probably all very good pilots, but Virgil pips the others to the list because he sits at the controls of my favourite of the Thunderbirds, namely heavy duty transport plane: Thunderbird 2.

6 - Tom Paris
Star Trek: Voyager's conn artist broke the Warp 10 barrier at the cost of his own health, helped design and build the first Delta Flyer, raced in the Antarian Trans-stellar Rally, failed a Ledosian pilot's course with the best possible excuse and flew Captain Proton's holographic rocket ship, a shuttle called Alice, two Delta Flyers and was at the helm of the USS Voyager all the way home.

5 - H.M. Murdock
Apparently he excelled himself serving as a helicopter pilot during the Vietnam war, which is probably what sent him Howling Mad. After being accused of a crime he didn't commit, he joined The A-Team. Murdock could fly just about any helicopter or plane The A-Team needed him too and more impressively he even managed to get B.A. Baracus in a plane, fool.

4 - Anakin Skywalker
From The Phantom Menace podracing to the chasing his son's X-Wing in A New Hope, via the weaving dogfights of the animated Clone Wars, the once and future Sith Lord from Star Wars proved he had the skill and the midichlorians to be a phenomenal pilot.

3 - Hoban Washburne
Wash to his friends was clearly a good pilot and would have been welcome in any crew, but it was his sense of humour that helped make Firefly and Serenity a joy to watch. He would prefer to run and hide, but was an asset when forced to stay and fight. Wash could outrun the fastest of Alliance ships with manoeuvres like his Crazy Ivan. He was a leaf on the wind, watch how he soared.

2 - Hikaru Sulu
Star Trek's helmsman aboard two USS Enterprises, but could also turn his hand to flying a Klingon Bird-of-Prey, a Huey helicopter and he also manually docked a shuttlecraft during a combat situation on his first attempt. I pretty much believe that Sulu could fly practically anything.

1 - Cat
Red Dwarf's resident Felis Sapien probably seems like an odd choice, but when the boys from the Dwarf lose their mothership it's the Cat that becomes Starbug's pilot of choice. He has what Kryten describes as "superior reflexes and nasal intuition". It's easy to see how superior reflexes would make him a great pilot, but nasal intuition may take a little explaining. The Cat's olfactory awareness is better than Starbug's sensors and he can smell things that threaten the ship even in the vacuum of space. Clearly impossible, but very impressive nonetheless. Ironically for a character described as "mind-meltingly shallow" and largely defined by his fashion sense and sexual urges, piloting seems to be the one thing that he takes seriously even to the point of resenting a rogue baked potato timer in the cockpit.

Who are your favourites?

Next Month: Security Officers

Top Ten Engineers

Every spaceship needs an engineer to get it off the ground, to add to the ever expanding crew roster of captain, first officer and doctor. In compiling this list I realised there is a great deal of overlap in fiction between engineers, inventors, mechanics and scientists. I suppose engineers are more concerned with fixing existing engines than they are with inventing new ones.

Here's my list of Top Ten Engineers:

10 - Bruce Sato
In addition to being M.A.S.K.'s mechanical engineer and Matt Trakker's right hand man is also a toy designer and a Confucian philosopher. Sato drove Rhino, the truck which converted into M.A.S.K.'s mobile HQ. In the cartoon his mask was called Lifter and it created an anti-gravity field that enabled him to lift heavy objects, while his second mask in the toy range was called Grasshopper and allowed him to jump great distances (and presumably worked exactly the same way as Lifter, but in reverse).

9 - Charles Tucker III
'Trip' to his friends, Tucker worked on the Warp 2 NX-Beta program and so was enormously proud of the Warp 5 engine aboard his NX-01 Enterprise. The NX-01 left Earth unfinished and Trip was forced to install parts of it on the move. Despite the lack of exposure his species had to alien and holographic technology somehow Trip successfully managed to fix both repeatedly.

8 - B'Elanna Torres
Following the death of the USS Voyager's Chief Engineer, Torres sufficiently impressed her captain to be promoted to the position over a superior officer. She proved to be very adept with warp engines, transporters, holograms, robotics and arguing.

7 - Reginald Barclay
Nervous and obsessive compulsive, but genius holographic engineer who suffers from bouts of holodiction, transporter phobia and arachnophobia. Served on two USS Enterprises, Jupiter Station and the Pathfinder Project. He was briefly the most intelligent man that had ever lived, de-evolved to a spider and successfully achieved two way communication with the distant USS Voyager.

6 - Geordi LaForge
Originally Star Trek: The Next Generation didn't have a regular Chief Engineer, but over the course of its first season the writers realised they needed one. Hence possibly the fastest promotion in Star Trek. LaForge was Chief Engineer on two USS Enterprises. He was an expert in computers, holograms, cybernetics and thanks to a bit of time travel he also invented the intermix chamber for Earth's first ever warp flight.

5 - 'Brains'
Aircraft, submarines, spacecraft and huge tunnelling drills: the inventor of the Thunderbirds built them all. 'Brains' is clearly a mechanical genius and he has obviously earned his nickname, but deserves even more credit for using the excellent alias of Hiram Hackenbacker.

4 - Kaywinnet Lee Frye
Firefly and Serenity's 'Kaylee' just seems to understand engines intuitively. On her first day aboard she diagnosed a problem whilst having sex with the ship's subsequently former engineer. Mal offered her a job on the spot and she managed to keep his boat in the air, even without a port compression coil in proper working order.

3 - Montgomery Scott
Known to just about everyone as 'Scotty'. He was Chief Engineer aboard two Enterprises and an Excelsior. He was the inventor of both transparent aluminium and transwarp beaming. Scotty also got a reputation as a Miracle Worker. His attitude to technological improvement is probably best summed up with the quote "The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain" and yet he was still capable of keeping up after he spent 75 years in a transporter beam in stasis.

2 - Miles O'Brien
O'Brien was an enlisted man with a wealth of engineering and tactical experience. He served as Transporter Chief, married and raised a daughter aboard the USS Enterprise-D, but O'Brien was apparently a man who liked a challenge. He transferred to the recently abandoned Deep Space Nine as Chief of Operations and transformed it from an almost derelict space station in orbit of Bajor to a fully functioning one at the mouth of the wormhole, which then enabled it to become "the most important piece of real estate in the Alpha Quadrant". He fixed the design faults of two USS Defiants and retrofitted DS9's weapon systems and saw it through two wars. It seemed that there was nothing he couldn't fix.

1 - Rom
His skills went unappreciated in a culture which prizes business acumen above all things, but Rom was possibly the only waiter in the universe capable of successfully combining Ferengi, Cardassian, Bajoran and Starfleet technology. Rom signed on as a Diagnostic and Repair Technician, Junior Grade in DS9's waste extraction and also worked as an unlikely spy, terrorist and mercenary, before becoming Grand Nagus of the entire Ferengi Alliance. He had a talent for seeing the bigger picture which saw him save the Prophets from genocide, design the minefield at the mouth of the Wormhole which prevented the Dominion from receiving reinforcements and changed the course of the war saving billions of lives. Rom might just be the single most important character in all of Star Trek. When I first published this, Rom was at number #4, which was deemed too high by one reader. I reassessed what I'd written and instead decided that Rom was more deserving of the top spot.

Who are your favourites?

Next month: Top Ten Pilots