Time's Up For Time Shadows

Pseudoscope Publishing have announced that due to circumstances beyond their control Time Shadows will no longer be available for purchase.

I'm very pleased to have part of the effort that raised over £1,000 for charity and equally disappointed that the effort wasn't permitted to continue.

Twitter Twatter #51

November 2017 does Twitter:

Also available in 3D? pic.twitter.com/cmpfBmwqDu

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 1 November 2017

I have spoken to the other women and we have decided it is okay if you sit it out pic.twitter.com/KTj6YQcaVQ

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) 1 November 2017

If SIR Michael Fallon’s behaviour has fallen short of that expected of his job has it also fallen short of that expected by his knighthood?

— Krishnan Guru-Murthy (@krishgm) 1 November 2017

Jupiter Mining Corporation is hiring. RT this message to apply. #RedDwarfXII pic.twitter.com/LExU27lbvm

— Dave (@davechannel) 28 September 2017

I fixed it for you... pic.twitter.com/ciktumpyBc

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 3 November 2017

Here’s the moment Jo Brand had to explain to the #HIGNFY panel that they should take sexual harassment seriously. pic.twitter.com/4cc4J3ocOw

— Rob Williams 🐝 (@BobJWilliams) 3 November 2017

SEXUALLY VIOLENT PATRIARCHY EXISTS AT THE CENTRE OF UK ESTABLISHMENT. In other unrelated news, here's Mollie in her underwear for no reason. pic.twitter.com/MFpWIM6oJs

— Pete Fraser (@petefrasermusic) 3 November 2017

When it's your last day of work at Twitter. pic.twitter.com/5xkzznYMdU

— Jamie Ross (@JamieRoss7) 3 November 2017

pic.twitter.com/aDcpfYNcqo

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 5 November 2017

The UK is the only country in the developed world where workers are getting poorer while the country is getting richer. pic.twitter.com/ha48tK0Oh5

— James Melville (@JamesMelville) 5 November 2017

Which came first: the Fabergé egg or the Fabergé chicken?

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 7 November 2017

Watched the #PrideOfBritain awards. Disgusted.

Didn't see a single lion.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 7 November 2017

20 years ago today, I rushed to HMV Market St Manchester straight after school to buy the first Pulp single in nearly 20 months. Holding that shiny new CD felt like the most exciting thing in the world... I sound so old-fashioned, don't I?

"Funny how it all falls away..." pic.twitter.com/z5bJq6DOG1

— Pip (@pipmadeley) 10 November 2017

This is а genuine conversation between Tony Blair and Bill Clinton. pic.twitter.com/4koxeqbPzj

— History Lovers Club (@historylvrsclub) 11 November 2017

Sometimes the BBC news app shows the wrong pictures for the story when it has no data/WiFi. Today it surpassed itself. pic.twitter.com/jrdtgsweyA

— Emma-Ashley (@EmmaAshley) 10 November 2017

I don't do a podcast with Bob Mortimer.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 12 November 2017

Is it just me, or does this gif make it look like Voyager is crashing into #Babylon5?

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 12 November 2017

@LennyHenry https://t.co/WDzQctOetx

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 13 November 2017

'The Librarian was not familiar with love, which had always struck him as a bit ethereal and soppy, but kindness, on the other hand, was practical. You knew where you were with kindness, especially if you were holding a pie it had just given you.'#WorldKindnessDay pic.twitter.com/h7z2v23lj7

— Paul Kidby (@PaulKidby) 13 November 2017

#MDTV Futurama, It's Garry Shandling's Show, Buffy, Doctor Who, Mr Benn

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 13 November 2017

Accents in Britain change noticeably every 25 miles.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) 13 November 2017

Oh the irony. Tommy Robinson here complaining about Border Control stopping hate preachers at our airports. pic.twitter.com/bTqUjOpGiM

— Otto English (@Otto_English) 13 November 2017

Does that mean Jarvis is back soon?

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 13 November 2017

헬라벅스 pic.twitter.com/tGcCEesUsV

— 와이어박스 (@twirebox) 12 November 2017

Just listened to the DVD commentary on #BreakingBad's 'Kafkaesque' and heard @betsy_brandt have the idea for a @BetterCallSaul spinoff...

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 13 November 2017

Don't ever abuse this day to further your commitment to destroying from within what those brave souls died for. How dare you hijack a time for remembrance in favour of political advancement. You obviously wasted time calculating a tweet in favour of quiet, solem gratitude https://t.co/eYy16RVZTa

— Johnny Vegas (@JohnnyVegasReal) 13 November 2017

If only you had as much love for the notion of accountability. If you consider moral outrage towards a sickeningly ill conceived tweet as 'trolling' then heaven help any constituent who doesn't share your political ideals. The day was about remembrance, not petty point scoring. https://t.co/y6ZREZ4jS8

— Johnny Vegas (@JohnnyVegasReal) 13 November 2017

Hatrick Troughton as the second, third and fourth #DoctorWho pic.twitter.com/b6U7y78wmw

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 15 November 2017

Worf: "I would like my hair trimmed." - Mr. Mot: "I promise, not too much off the top." pic.twitter.com/vVnw0Kaz94

— Ex Astris Scientia (@eas_trek) 14 November 2017

Fantastic news https://t.co/km8xF5J4iQ

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 16 November 2017

It is @RedDwarfHQ time...:-). #RedDwarfXII #ruddymuddy pic.twitter.com/HLI5bUlkX3

— Ruddy Muddy (@Ruddy_Muddy) 16 November 2017

The Wish

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 17 November 2017

"See you yesterday."

And he did.#SixWordScifi

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 19 November 2017

The front page of today's Cumbria News and Star is a bona fide work of art (@OfficialOMD) pic.twitter.com/kcYRNvvQBq

— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) 18 November 2017

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.#RedDwarf pic.twitter.com/R7STpBtpSq

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 19 November 2017

If nothing else, at least Brexit has finally answered the Blur v Oasis debate once and for all pic.twitter.com/KXJjWWR5HI

— Katie (@supermathskid) 17 November 2017

This is what the deforestation in the Amazon Rainforest of Brazil looks like. pic.twitter.com/mGHg5via7s

— banksy (@thereaIbanksy) 19 November 2017

When automated programme descriptions go bad.... pic.twitter.com/7NyuZLIpDq

— Mat Osman (@matosman) 19 November 2017

We avoided tax which should have funded children's services, now we're telling you to give to charity to fill the gaps left by our greed. pic.twitter.com/UQLwszTdQE

— Unite Community (@Unite_Community) 19 November 2017

let me read your cards pic.twitter.com/nKodkzQvSC

— adorable monster (@tristanreveur) 19 November 2017

Erm... pic.twitter.com/SBI43Vmm2i

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 20 November 2017

One night lands?

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 20 November 2017

Here's my first pukka paid comedy writing gig, before the Christmas special pushes it even further into irrelevance... #DoctorWho https://t.co/yy1jh3kfR4

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 21 November 2017

54 years of #DoctorWho and we've still never seen those radiation gloves.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 23 November 2017

No cats or trains, but here's Helen Mirren as Commissioner Gordon... pic.twitter.com/RYtwqWV1Gk

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 27 November 2017

Tory death warrant for abused women: Government plans to remove housing benefit from women seeking accommodation in refuges (effectively removing 53% refuge funding) https://t.co/EpWplUUj9W

— Shed (@ShedLikesFood) 27 November 2017

I do have a soft spot for Battlefield. I was just that age that season 26 was a sudden renaissance for Doctor Who. Despite what the authors of silly GQ articles may think, S26 was about as far from "going out with a whimper" as you can get. #Battlefield #DoctorWho pic.twitter.com/64u7mjq2eC

— Kippy Woo (@TygerWhoCame2T) 26 November 2017

Never mind #CyberMonday. Let's #CybermanDay. pic.twitter.com/qX4Z936uLg

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 27 November 2017

Amy Pond whenever Caitlin Blackwood wasn't available to play her.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 27 November 2017

Transformers Generation One + The IT Crowd. I have no idea either, shut up. pic.twitter.com/oEtixXPRbQ

— Orion Twax and her Cavalcade of Knackered Robots (@tainkirrahe) 26 November 2017

It's being filmed according to strict Dogme '95 rules... https://t.co/bKMEn913h4

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 27 November 2017

pic.twitter.com/RuLUySeigo

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 27 November 2017

Welcome to the UK, where an engagement is more important than mental health. pic.twitter.com/wjF7TCXgz3

— Bhean (@_Bheanian_) 27 November 2017

Happy Birthday to Anders Celsius, born #otd 1701. He died in 1744 aged 42, although his great rival Fahrenheit thought he was 108. pic.twitter.com/U2m2DtvvZ6

— Jonathan Healey (@SocialHistoryOx) 27 November 2017

@Channel4, any plans to show #ThisIsUs season 2?

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 28 November 2017

"On Monday, I woke to the news that Meghan Markle will marry her prince and move to the UK.

"On Tuesday, I woke to a letter from the Home Office, informing me that my wife, my best friend and my partner of seven years, has been denied entry into the UK"https://t.co/dyauRPeXbL

— polly curtis (@pollycurtis) 30 November 2017

There'ssss no need to be afraid.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 30 November 2017

pic.twitter.com/bdpQJTD8BA

— Pardeep ❄❄❄ (@PardeepParmar4) 30 November 2017

Jo Cox MP was murdered by a far right fanatic shouting "Britain First".

The French honour her: name a street after her.

The US president retweets racist hatred from Britain First.

Are you sure Brexit is a good idea?

Because the world is changing, for the worse, very fast. pic.twitter.com/ReC0stwBSq

— ben goldacre, MBE LOL (@bengoldacre) 29 November 2017

Outside Into 2018

ATB Publishing have announced the latest in their series of Outside In volumes.

Fresh from publishing their excellent books on the original series of Star Trek during its fiftieth anniversary year and Star Trek: The Next Generation in its thirtieth birthday, what have they set their sights on in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine's silver anniversary?

That's right: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

And its spinoff series, Angel.

I was a bit surprised, but equally I was really looking forward to reading it. I love Buffy and Angel and I'd be devastated if I couldn't be a part of these.

I've recently delivered my submission for Outside In Takes A Stab and it seems to have been well received. More details on that nearer the time. I'm hoping to write for Outside In Gains A Soul, but I haven't decided which episode I'd be writing about yet.

Twitter Twatter #50

October 2017 on Twitter

Zardoz?

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 2 October 2017

There's a lot of ground to cover...

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 3 October 2017

URGENT: Can all arseholes stop being arseholes for a bit. We’d like a break. Thanks in advance. Everyone.

— Channel 4 (@Channel4) 2 October 2017

Who cares if Kim Jong-un gets a nuke? Nukes don’t kill people, PEOPLE kill people.

... see how fucking stupid that sounds? #GunControl

— Bob Cunningham ❄ (@BCunningham215) 2 October 2017

When you get caught not concentrating and then have to over-compensate pic.twitter.com/McKsO8szpa

— Mark Smith (@marksmithcomedy) 4 October 2017

@ganymedetitan https://t.co/FbqhWaQE7W

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 8 October 2017

This is it. Nothing in 2017 will ever beat this. pic.twitter.com/xLy8Osae8o

— Heraa Hashmi (@caveheraa) 10 October 2017

I'm watching #LegionFX . I like it. It's what the #XMen films would have been like if they were directed by Wes Anderson. pic.twitter.com/DS4mDhkq7V

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 11 October 2017

He waved.

Unfortunately the sea waved back. pic.twitter.com/K9dJdYtM3A

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 11 October 2017

When you want to watch Young Frankenstein but Netflix for some reason gives you the subtitles from Lilo & Stitch. pic.twitter.com/LwsvV6kGdI

— Denizcan James (@MrFilmkritik) 11 October 2017

Five.
She saw the tanker.

Four.
The last of the oil sailed by.

Three.
She would make them listen.

Two.
She checked her watch.

One.
Boom. pic.twitter.com/fmlCx2loCg

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 12 October 2017

This floor is perfectly flat, designed to stop people running. AND COOL. pic.twitter.com/CGVjTF9LgP

— Jonny Mounsor (@JonnyMounsor) 13 October 2017

The fire broke out.

Tearing through the house leaving no stone unburned. Until it was free.

Now, it's out there. pic.twitter.com/vCxpnsjegu

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 14 October 2017

Worst sequel ever? pic.twitter.com/G1LT9TqUnn

— Kate Robbins (@KateRobbins) 14 October 2017

The rainbow twanged

The rainquiver lay empty

The rainarrow shot off into space beginning its infinite journey to brighten up the universe pic.twitter.com/OhqimpTJbD

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 15 October 2017

Ice Warrior chic? #DoctorWho pic.twitter.com/GicWAsx0CO

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 15 October 2017

That's not a good sign. He looks like he's been waiting a really long time.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 17 October 2017

Pretty sure that copper is an auton.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 17 October 2017

this is a contender for best pun ever pic.twitter.com/yG3C8kIEcN

— Guy - TLJ spoilers (@yeblod) 17 October 2017

Lily was starting to wonder whether this baptism thing was really worth all the hassle. pic.twitter.com/WNu8z9nO3h

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 17 October 2017

Stop your messing around pic.twitter.com/Sls0tOgYKv

— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) 17 October 2017

I Only Have Eyes For I Only Have Eyes For You

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 19 October 2017

Absolutely

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 20 October 2017

Must be a real bad week in this town for both of them to be there pic.twitter.com/fTLrreXh0c

— Tyler Shields (@tylershields) 19 October 2017

He wept when he finally saw the sea. They'd trained for the surfing contest in the absence of water. The horse was always going to drown. pic.twitter.com/FvHLDLalus

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 21 October 2017

oh my god pic.twitter.com/TrklhybAcc

— Sally McSurly (@SallyMcSurly) 20 October 2017

Never mind. Tomorrow's Saturday! pic.twitter.com/pEgnqKvaB0

— Andrew-Mark Thompson (@Andydrewz) 20 October 2017

Man cannot live on beard alone.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 22 October 2017

pic.twitter.com/m5nNRTugsO

— spankybackpack (@spankybackpack) 23 October 2017

Whoever did this is a damn genius. pic.twitter.com/htTVbET6c2

— Road Warrior Hawking (@JaimsVanDerBeek) 20 October 2017

Most ghosts are people who have died trying to put their duvet covers on.

— Marek Larwood (@MarekLarwood) 23 October 2017

The more photos of #RedDwarf fans with #LeopardLager bottles I see, the more disappointed I am that I couldn't get to a pub.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 24 October 2017

I suppose I'll have to wait three million years to find out all the fuss about #LeopardLager is.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 24 October 2017

Completely transfixed by this. What incredibly creative dramatic talent pic.twitter.com/RnFz1ze9nI

— Felicity Morse (@FelicityMorse) 22 October 2017

Writing in books is evil, but this made us smile. Via @westhehero pic.twitter.com/sacPe0ejxS

— Hull Libraries (@hull_libraries) 20 October 2017

She shivered.

There was definitely a chill in the air.

"I must be getting old", she sighed, "I remember when all this was green." pic.twitter.com/IHANuYf75P

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 24 October 2017

This will go down in the annals of dumb alt-right tweets as a true classic. It’s almost art. pic.twitter.com/X93RTc4Psx

— Stuart Ritchie (@StuartJRitchie) 24 October 2017

My copy of @ATBPublishing's #OutsideIn has arrived. I wrote some of this. I'm the one on the left. pic.twitter.com/WnFyhgmrus

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 25 October 2017

I vain, arrogant am

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 26 October 2017

"Remember that black student yesterday, the one on the front cover, who was attacking white authors? Yeah, we made that up. Sorry." pic.twitter.com/eaAx4l8HkT

— Nicholas Guyatt (@NicholasGuyatt) 26 October 2017

I was pretty excited to see @astro_timpeake's Soyuz re-entry capsule last night.

I was subtle though, I don't think he noticed me. pic.twitter.com/Sn3StvVe9Z

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 27 October 2017

A can of expanding foam went off on the shed and I'm now 6/4 on winning this year's Turner Prize. pic.twitter.com/lQNQeOW3fL

— JB (@JBwol) 26 October 2017

"Congratulations and welcome to puberty. This will restrict your intake of air and enforce unrealistic expectations of a feminine shape." pic.twitter.com/7Q6bcjGkqm

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 27 October 2017

This #Prometheus toy might just be the most bizarre thing I've seen today. pic.twitter.com/dcn4TCSGt7

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 27 October 2017

Winning Hallowe'en: animated Stranger Things Demogorgon costume #1yrago https://t.co/jvnyhJxIrg pic.twitter.com/QltXXTUIZO

— Cory Doctorow (@doctorow) 28 October 2017

Icelandic women walk off the job 14% early to protest 14% pay-gap #1yrago https://t.co/oHiYISmGqn pic.twitter.com/v3hn1lrWzr

— Cory Doctorow (@doctorow) 28 October 2017

@claytonhickman has truly enriched the world we live in. #NewYearsHonours pic.twitter.com/DucQEFAhmh

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 28 October 2017

It’s got to be “The Web of Fear” Part Three. Boy, do I feel guilty every time I load it into my 16mm projector. https://t.co/aIsGeYiJSl

— Dave Owen (@wavenode) 28 October 2017

1977 v 2017 pic.twitter.com/Uw8RJ0bUZY

— Mnrrnt & 112 others (@Mnrrnt) 28 October 2017

Still the best Halloween costume gag ever. pic.twitter.com/G1fNuFfxde

— Whedonesque (@whedonesque) 29 October 2017

A coral eating a shrimp! pic.twitter.com/b6XyF7bDyM

— Nature Is Weird (@NaturelsWeird) 28 October 2017

Hunt: “We don’t have enough nurses. Which is why we’ve removed bursaries for nurses.” #Marr

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) 29 October 2017

I’ve still got it. Video proof. pic.twitter.com/EwGj2fe4vu

— David Rowntree #FBPE (@DaveRowntree) 29 October 2017

WARNING: If you try spewing some “But Hillary...” bullshit on @JoyAnnReid’s show, she will serve you a piping-hot tray of your own ass, sliced thin.pic.twitter.com/WabLBXtSTi

— Jon Zal (@OfficialJonZal) 29 October 2017

My Predictions For 2018...

With last year's prognostications all having come true, I'm sure you'll be wanting to know my predictions for the year ahead.

Here are my predictions for 2018:

My predictions for 2016:

• In a surprising move, Mike Leigh will sign a huge merchandising deal that will see the likes of Abigail's Party and Vera Drake on lunchboxes, in colouring books and as stuffed toys, as well as recreated in computer game form.

• Nutritionists will finally acknowledge that Jammie Dodgers, Chocolate Oranges and lemon sherbets should be included as one or more of your five a day.

• The Carmarthenshire village of Bancyfelin will inexplicably win Miss Universe.

• In fashion, expect to see higher hemlines, more parallel lines and a greater variety of colours including more heliotrope, umber, chorak, blenk and squunt.

• Mathematicians will calculate Pi to its final digit. It's a 4.

Happy New Year.

Twitter Twatter #49

September 2017 on Twitter:

Possibly my favourite ever museum label! At Hull Maritime Museum #Hull2017 pic.twitter.com/qS5P2Xz6mH

— Keith Merrin (@kmerrin) 31 August 2017

There are gems literally tucked away in the corners. I mean look at this. I'd have this on my wall. pic.twitter.com/jQ287JnPp4

— Eddie Robson (@EddieRobson) 2 September 2017

We will never get tired of sharing this because it is completely outrageous - pls RT if you think everyone should be aware pic.twitter.com/3aKuEX7ZII

— NHS Million (@NHSMillion) 3 September 2017

So was Boris, so was Farage, so was Trump. Now look at them. Don't dismiss these people, call out their bullshit.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 7 September 2017

David Davis seems to have forgotten the importance of the EU Charter of Fundamental Rights! pic.twitter.com/7ozu3dgf1k

— Keir Starmer (@Keir_Starmer) 7 September 2017

To #StarTrek fans whining about a show that hasn't aired yet: here's how wrong they were 30 years ago... also @levarburton as The New Spock? pic.twitter.com/xGEI1p0TCk

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 10 September 2017

@CornershopHQ, since Lessons Learned From Rocky I To Rocky III, two more #Rocky films have been released, but were any more lessons learned? pic.twitter.com/3FO7IqYryO

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 11 September 2017

The Master played by Roger Delg-A-Dow

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 12 September 2017

To be fair, they aren't.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 12 September 2017

Melania Trump's United Nations speech preached about setting an example for our children and preventing bullying…

Umm... pic.twitter.com/U8wjHY0Lie

— Brian Krassenstein🐬 (@krassenstein) 20 September 2017

Why would cinematic visuals be inherantly obnoxious?

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 22 September 2017

In early seasons, TNG borrowed many shots directly from the movies, shots that were certainly intended to be cinematic at the time.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 22 September 2017

DS9's huge battle scenes both indoor and out, VGR's crash in Timeless and Archer's trial in ENT were definitely cinematic.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 22 September 2017

@Andydrewz Loving the #DoctorWhoCalendar2018, but it only has thirteen months in it. Where are the rest? pic.twitter.com/DcXXiMFcEm

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 25 September 2017

all other cosplay is cancelled pic.twitter.com/z7NmtY0IJl

— Maggs Kanata (@SamMaggs) 25 September 2017

#TakeAKnee

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 26 September 2017

Ho Ho Ho

Yep.