Monday, 1 January 2018

My Predictions For 2018

With last year's prognostications all having come true, I'm sure you'll be wanting to know my predictions for the year ahead.

Here are my predictions for 2018:

In a surprising move, Mike Leigh will sign a huge merchandising deal that will see the likes of Abigail's Party and Vera Drake on lunchboxes, in colouring books and as stuffed toys, as well as recreated in computer game form.

Nutritionists will finally acknowledge that Jammie Dodgers, Chocolate Oranges and lemon sherbets should be included as one or more of your five a day.

The Carmarthenshire village of Bancyfelin will inexplicably win Miss Universe.

In fashion, expect to see higher hemlines, more parallel lines and a greater variety of colours including more heliotrope, umber, chorak, blenk and squunt.

Mathematicians will calculate Pi to its final digit. It's a 4.

Happy New Year.

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