Zardoz?
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 2 October 2017
There's a lot of ground to cover...
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 3 October 2017
URGENT: Can all arseholes stop being arseholes for a bit. We’d like a break. Thanks in advance. Everyone.
— Channel 4 (@Channel4) 2 October 2017
Who cares if Kim Jong-un gets a nuke? Nukes don’t kill people, PEOPLE kill people.
— Bob Cunningham ❄ (@BCunningham215) 2 October 2017
... see how fucking stupid that sounds? #GunControl
When you get caught not concentrating and then have to over-compensate pic.twitter.com/McKsO8szpa
— Mark Smith (@marksmithcomedy) 4 October 2017
@ganymedetitan https://t.co/FbqhWaQE7W
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 8 October 2017
This is it. Nothing in 2017 will ever beat this. pic.twitter.com/xLy8Osae8o
— Heraa Hashmi (@caveheraa) 10 October 2017
I'm watching #LegionFX . I like it. It's what the #XMen films would have been like if they were directed by Wes Anderson. pic.twitter.com/DS4mDhkq7V
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 11 October 2017
He waved.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 11 October 2017
Unfortunately the sea waved back. pic.twitter.com/K9dJdYtM3A
When you want to watch Young Frankenstein but Netflix for some reason gives you the subtitles from Lilo & Stitch. pic.twitter.com/LwsvV6kGdI
— Denizcan James (@MrFilmkritik) 11 October 2017
Five.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 12 October 2017
She saw the tanker.
Four.
The last of the oil sailed by.
Three.
She would make them listen.
Two.
She checked her watch.
One.
Boom. pic.twitter.com/fmlCx2loCg
This floor is perfectly flat, designed to stop people running. AND COOL. pic.twitter.com/CGVjTF9LgP
— Jonny Mounsor (@JonnyMounsor) 13 October 2017
The fire broke out.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 14 October 2017
Tearing through the house leaving no stone unburned. Until it was free.
Now, it's out there. pic.twitter.com/vCxpnsjegu
Worst sequel ever? pic.twitter.com/G1LT9TqUnn
— Kate Robbins (@KateRobbins) 14 October 2017
The rainbow twanged
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 15 October 2017
The rainquiver lay empty
The rainarrow shot off into space beginning its infinite journey to brighten up the universe pic.twitter.com/OhqimpTJbD
Ice Warrior chic? #DoctorWho pic.twitter.com/GicWAsx0CO
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 15 October 2017
That's not a good sign. He looks like he's been waiting a really long time.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 17 October 2017
Pretty sure that copper is an auton.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 17 October 2017
this is a contender for best pun ever pic.twitter.com/yG3C8kIEcN
— Guy - TLJ spoilers (@yeblod) 17 October 2017
Lily was starting to wonder whether this baptism thing was really worth all the hassle. pic.twitter.com/WNu8z9nO3h
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 17 October 2017
Stop your messing around pic.twitter.com/Sls0tOgYKv
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) 17 October 2017
I Only Have Eyes For I Only Have Eyes For You
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 19 October 2017
Absolutely
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 20 October 2017
Must be a real bad week in this town for both of them to be there pic.twitter.com/fTLrreXh0c
— Tyler Shields (@tylershields) 19 October 2017
He wept when he finally saw the sea. They'd trained for the surfing contest in the absence of water. The horse was always going to drown. pic.twitter.com/FvHLDLalus
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 21 October 2017
oh my god pic.twitter.com/TrklhybAcc
— Sally McSurly (@SallyMcSurly) 20 October 2017
Never mind. Tomorrow's Saturday! pic.twitter.com/pEgnqKvaB0
— Andrew-Mark Thompson (@Andydrewz) 20 October 2017
Man cannot live on beard alone.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 22 October 2017
— spankybackpack (@spankybackpack) 23 October 2017
Whoever did this is a damn genius. pic.twitter.com/htTVbET6c2
— Road Warrior Hawking (@JaimsVanDerBeek) 20 October 2017
Most ghosts are people who have died trying to put their duvet covers on.
— Marek Larwood (@MarekLarwood) 23 October 2017
The more photos of #RedDwarf fans with #LeopardLager bottles I see, the more disappointed I am that I couldn't get to a pub.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 24 October 2017
I suppose I'll have to wait three million years to find out all the fuss about #LeopardLager is.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 24 October 2017
Completely transfixed by this. What incredibly creative dramatic talent pic.twitter.com/RnFz1ze9nI
— Felicity Morse (@FelicityMorse) 22 October 2017
Writing in books is evil, but this made us smile. Via @westhehero pic.twitter.com/sacPe0ejxS
— Hull Libraries (@hull_libraries) 20 October 2017
She shivered.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 24 October 2017
There was definitely a chill in the air.
"I must be getting old", she sighed, "I remember when all this was green." pic.twitter.com/IHANuYf75P
This will go down in the annals of dumb alt-right tweets as a true classic. It’s almost art. pic.twitter.com/X93RTc4Psx
— Stuart Ritchie (@StuartJRitchie) 24 October 2017
My copy of @ATBPublishing's #OutsideIn has arrived. I wrote some of this. I'm the one on the left. pic.twitter.com/WnFyhgmrus
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 25 October 2017
I vain, arrogant am
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 26 October 2017
"Remember that black student yesterday, the one on the front cover, who was attacking white authors? Yeah, we made that up. Sorry." pic.twitter.com/eaAx4l8HkT
— Nicholas Guyatt (@NicholasGuyatt) 26 October 2017
I was pretty excited to see @astro_timpeake's Soyuz re-entry capsule last night.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 27 October 2017
I was subtle though, I don't think he noticed me. pic.twitter.com/Sn3StvVe9Z
A can of expanding foam went off on the shed and I'm now 6/4 on winning this year's Turner Prize. pic.twitter.com/lQNQeOW3fL
— JB (@JBwol) 26 October 2017
"Congratulations and welcome to puberty. This will restrict your intake of air and enforce unrealistic expectations of a feminine shape." pic.twitter.com/7Q6bcjGkqm
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 27 October 2017
This #Prometheus toy might just be the most bizarre thing I've seen today. pic.twitter.com/dcn4TCSGt7
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 27 October 2017
Winning Hallowe'en: animated Stranger Things Demogorgon costume #1yrago https://t.co/jvnyhJxIrg pic.twitter.com/QltXXTUIZO
— Cory Doctorow (@doctorow) 28 October 2017
Icelandic women walk off the job 14% early to protest 14% pay-gap #1yrago https://t.co/oHiYISmGqn pic.twitter.com/v3hn1lrWzr
— Cory Doctorow (@doctorow) 28 October 2017
@claytonhickman has truly enriched the world we live in. #NewYearsHonours pic.twitter.com/DucQEFAhmh
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) 28 October 2017
It’s got to be “The Web of Fear” Part Three. Boy, do I feel guilty every time I load it into my 16mm projector. https://t.co/aIsGeYiJSl
— Dave Owen (@wavenode) 28 October 2017
1977 v 2017 pic.twitter.com/Uw8RJ0bUZY
— Mnrrnt & 112 others (@Mnrrnt) 28 October 2017
Still the best Halloween costume gag ever. pic.twitter.com/G1fNuFfxde
— Whedonesque (@whedonesque) 29 October 2017
A coral eating a shrimp! pic.twitter.com/b6XyF7bDyM
— Nature Is Weird (@NaturelsWeird) 28 October 2017
Hunt: “We don’t have enough nurses. Which is why we’ve removed bursaries for nurses.” #Marr
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) 29 October 2017
I’ve still got it. Video proof. pic.twitter.com/EwGj2fe4vu
— David Rowntree #FBPE (@DaveRowntree) 29 October 2017
WARNING: If you try spewing some “But Hillary...” bullshit on @JoyAnnReid’s show, she will serve you a piping-hot tray of your own ass, sliced thin.pic.twitter.com/WabLBXtSTi
— Jon Zal (@OfficialJonZal) 29 October 2017
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