Today is Red Nose Day. Every other year millions of people do something funny for money and raise millions more for Comic Relief.
In previous years, the red noses have gone on sale in threes and I took the following photos in 2009, 2011 and 2013. Seven years on, this feels like a tradition I must maintain.
This year three more noses went on sale. Along with three more. And another three. They were sold in opaque bags, which meant that in order to collect all nine, you probably had to buy dozens. I'm not complaining, it's all for charity. I only managed to find five of the noses. I won't tell you what I spent.
I've taken another photo in the same vein with this year's noses:
As you can see, glasses were also available, so naturally I bought them as well.
Go on, donate.
Friday, 13 March 2015
Thursday, 12 March 2015
Terry Pratchett 1948 - 2015
It was with great sadness that I heard about the death of Terry Pratchett. Here are my thoughts interspersed with some quotes from his Discworld novels. My apologies for the bits not written by Terry.
"The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they’ve found it." Monstrous Regiment
I borrowed Mort, the fourth Discworld novel, from Ross, a boy at school who was busily reading the first, The Colour Of Magic. I chose it over the others he had because it had a fantastic cover and the first line of the blurb well and truly hooked me: "Death comes to us all. When he came to Mort, he offered him a job". I was ten and reading about existentialism and anthropomorphic personifications of concepts like Death in a book that juxtaposes the sublime with the ridiculous to the point you are left wondering which is which.
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." Jingo
I never met Terry, but he had a profound affect upon my life. He turned me from a lazy reader into a voracious one. Pratchett's writing was like a gateway drug to me and so any Dickens, Shakespeare, Tolkien, Douglas Adams, Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore and many more that I ever read was down to him, but it was to Pratchett that I kept returning. His writing has been a constant in my life and I'm enormously grateful to him (and also to my mother for turning a blind eye to the grim reaper looking out from the front cover of that book).
"Actors," said Granny, witheringly. "As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more." Wyrd Sisters
I kept reading...Wyrd Sisters, Reaper Man, Witches Abroad, Soul Music, Night Watch...I read them all and often couldn't put them down. Thanks to a period when it seemed like he was writing them faster than I could read them, I still have a few to go. It seems strange to say goodbye when I still have so much more of his work to enjoy.
"Bad spelling can be lethal. For example, the greedy Seriph of Al-Yabi was cursed by a badly-educated deity and for some days everything he touched turned to Glod, which happened to be the name of a small dwarf from a mountain community hundreds of miles away who found himself magically dragged to the kingdom and relentlessly duplicated. Some two thousand Glods later the spell wore off. These days, the people of Al-Yabi are renowned for being remarkably short and bad-tempered." Witches Abroad
Beyond Death the cast of characters runs into thousands, all beautifully drawn and realised. There's Rincewind, the Librarian, Granny Weatherwax, Mort, Albert, Nanny Ogg, Sam Vimes, Sergeant Colon, Corporal Nobby, Carrot, Lord Vetinari, Windle Poons, Mustrum Ridcully, the Dean, the Bursar, Susan Sto Helit, the Death of Rats, Brutha, Angua, Detritus, Ponder Stibbons, Hex, Leonard of Quirm, Harry Dread, Tiffany Aching and Moist Von Lipwig to name, but too many. A supporting character in a Terry Pratchett novel is always compelling enough that they might have sustained their own book, nay series of books. I would have read The Further Adventures Of You Bastard.
"Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four." Interesting Times
But Terry didn't write about characters. None of his characters is the excuse for a story. Terry wrote about social change and cultural phenomena. He placed his characters at the centre of the friction between tradition and progress. He used the veil of fantasy to write satire and commentary on a vast array of subjects.
"When banks fail, it's not bankers who starve" Going Postal
If you've never read any of his work, do. If you only read one of his books, read Small Gods. It is an absolutely spectacular piece of work and quite simply, the best book on the subject of religion ever written. It's a brilliant treatise on faith and organised religion that is both hilarious and intelligent regardless of your faith or indeed lack thereof. Less I'll believe it when I see it and more I'll see it when I believe it.. In literary terms the Bible, the Koran and The God Delusion achieve far less in their many thousands of pages than that one book does in about 350, plus, you know, Pratchett's caused fewer wars. If someone had simply written that one book he would be a cast iron absolute genius, but to have written that and forty more, and that's just before you leave the Discworld, gives you the measure of just what we have lost.
"I AM DEATH, NOT TAXES. I TURN UP ONLY ONCE." Feet Of Clay
Thanks Terry.
"No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away…" Reaper Man
"Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, 'What happens if I do this?'" Interesting Times
"The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they’ve found it." Monstrous Regiment
I borrowed Mort, the fourth Discworld novel, from Ross, a boy at school who was busily reading the first, The Colour Of Magic. I chose it over the others he had because it had a fantastic cover and the first line of the blurb well and truly hooked me: "Death comes to us all. When he came to Mort, he offered him a job". I was ten and reading about existentialism and anthropomorphic personifications of concepts like Death in a book that juxtaposes the sublime with the ridiculous to the point you are left wondering which is which.
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." Jingo
I never met Terry, but he had a profound affect upon my life. He turned me from a lazy reader into a voracious one. Pratchett's writing was like a gateway drug to me and so any Dickens, Shakespeare, Tolkien, Douglas Adams, Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore and many more that I ever read was down to him, but it was to Pratchett that I kept returning. His writing has been a constant in my life and I'm enormously grateful to him (and also to my mother for turning a blind eye to the grim reaper looking out from the front cover of that book).
"Actors," said Granny, witheringly. "As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more." Wyrd Sisters
I kept reading...Wyrd Sisters, Reaper Man, Witches Abroad, Soul Music, Night Watch...I read them all and often couldn't put them down. Thanks to a period when it seemed like he was writing them faster than I could read them, I still have a few to go. It seems strange to say goodbye when I still have so much more of his work to enjoy.
"Bad spelling can be lethal. For example, the greedy Seriph of Al-Yabi was cursed by a badly-educated deity and for some days everything he touched turned to Glod, which happened to be the name of a small dwarf from a mountain community hundreds of miles away who found himself magically dragged to the kingdom and relentlessly duplicated. Some two thousand Glods later the spell wore off. These days, the people of Al-Yabi are renowned for being remarkably short and bad-tempered." Witches Abroad
Beyond Death the cast of characters runs into thousands, all beautifully drawn and realised. There's Rincewind, the Librarian, Granny Weatherwax, Mort, Albert, Nanny Ogg, Sam Vimes, Sergeant Colon, Corporal Nobby, Carrot, Lord Vetinari, Windle Poons, Mustrum Ridcully, the Dean, the Bursar, Susan Sto Helit, the Death of Rats, Brutha, Angua, Detritus, Ponder Stibbons, Hex, Leonard of Quirm, Harry Dread, Tiffany Aching and Moist Von Lipwig to name, but too many. A supporting character in a Terry Pratchett novel is always compelling enough that they might have sustained their own book, nay series of books. I would have read The Further Adventures Of You Bastard.
"Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four." Interesting Times
But Terry didn't write about characters. None of his characters is the excuse for a story. Terry wrote about social change and cultural phenomena. He placed his characters at the centre of the friction between tradition and progress. He used the veil of fantasy to write satire and commentary on a vast array of subjects.
"When banks fail, it's not bankers who starve" Going Postal
If you've never read any of his work, do. If you only read one of his books, read Small Gods. It is an absolutely spectacular piece of work and quite simply, the best book on the subject of religion ever written. It's a brilliant treatise on faith and organised religion that is both hilarious and intelligent regardless of your faith or indeed lack thereof. Less I'll believe it when I see it and more I'll see it when I believe it.. In literary terms the Bible, the Koran and The God Delusion achieve far less in their many thousands of pages than that one book does in about 350, plus, you know, Pratchett's caused fewer wars. If someone had simply written that one book he would be a cast iron absolute genius, but to have written that and forty more, and that's just before you leave the Discworld, gives you the measure of just what we have lost.
"I AM DEATH, NOT TAXES. I TURN UP ONLY ONCE." Feet Of Clay
Thanks Terry.
"No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away…" Reaper Man
"Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, 'What happens if I do this?'" Interesting Times
Sunday, 8 March 2015
Twitter Twatter #10
July and August.
The day that the horrific Michael Gove stepped down as Education Secretary to be replaced by the very blank Nicky Morgan,
Sarah made a cake and The Great British Bake-Off retweeted it, as did I.
The day I found out that Robin Williams had died
Jon Snow's candour impressed me greatly.
Another entry in Portmantwho, the game no one else is playing:
The day that the horrific Michael Gove stepped down as Education Secretary to be replaced by the very blank Nicky Morgan,
Gove riddance and all that, but can we really expect anything to change?
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) July 16, 2014
#RemoveALetterRuinABand The Hosiers
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) July 20, 2014
Just watched @PulpTheFilm and loved it: "In Sheffield you usually know the people who are mugging you".
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) July 27, 2014
Sarah made a cake and The Great British Bake-Off retweeted it, as did I.
@BritishBakeOff Rather proud of a Lemon and Raspberry Pavlova I recently made #GBBO #ExtraSlice pic.twitter.com/canV1V0APk
— Sarah Holmes (@uppityfabulous) July 31, 2014
Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. pic.twitter.com/isg9FMUjP8
— N.V. Binder (@nvbinder) August 4, 2014
The day I found out that Robin Williams had died
"Oh look, The Fisher King is trending, I love that movie, what can this be about...?" "Oh."
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) August 12, 2014
Stay classy @ABC: pic.twitter.com/gI8mxuwNi3
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) August 12, 2014
Jon Snow's candour impressed me greatly.
Why @jonsnowC4 is a hero pic.twitter.com/IwAnRPu6q1
— dan(@danniroo) August 11, 2014
Another entry in Portmantwho, the game no one else is playing:
Warriors Of The Deep Breath #Portmantwho
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) August 26, 2014
Saturday, 7 March 2015
Clifford Remembers Leonard Nimoy
Clifford Remembers the late, great Leonard Nimoy who died last month.
I hope people don't take this as insincere, because that certainly isn't how it is intended. I love Star Trek, more than Clifford and Nimoy is a huge part of that. I wasn't very quick off the mark with a tribute, but the thing is I wasn't sure what to do. And then as the days went on, the more stories about Nimoy that I hadn't heard came out the more I realised how much I was going to miss him.
His cultural impact should not be underestimated, Leonard Nimoy was a big part of what kept Star Trek an intelligent force in television and particularly in the motion pictures. He helped keep it honest. His story was far more than just pointed ears, "live long and prosper" and that salute we've all tried (go on, be honest). This is also the man who passed on Spock's advice to a mixed race teenage girl and ensured equal pay for Nichelle Nichols.
Thank you, Leonard.
I hope people don't take this as insincere, because that certainly isn't how it is intended. I love Star Trek, more than Clifford and Nimoy is a huge part of that. I wasn't very quick off the mark with a tribute, but the thing is I wasn't sure what to do. And then as the days went on, the more stories about Nimoy that I hadn't heard came out the more I realised how much I was going to miss him.
His cultural impact should not be underestimated, Leonard Nimoy was a big part of what kept Star Trek an intelligent force in television and particularly in the motion pictures. He helped keep it honest. His story was far more than just pointed ears, "live long and prosper" and that salute we've all tried (go on, be honest). This is also the man who passed on Spock's advice to a mixed race teenage girl and ensured equal pay for Nichelle Nichols.
Thank you, Leonard.
Friday, 6 February 2015
Twitter Twatter #9
June.
It would be a while before I saw Pulp: A Film About Life, Death & Supermarkets, but thankfully it would not disappoint:
On the 12th and 13th of June 2014, to tie in with the beginning of the Football World Cup, a free issue of Rupert Murdoch agenda organ The Sun was distributed by the Royal Mail to 22 million homes in England. It was offensive, racist, jingoistic and apparently illegal:
Flight? It's all done with ladders... http://t.co/KvILsMGwr9
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 1, 2014
It would be a while before I saw Pulp: A Film About Life, Death & Supermarkets, but thankfully it would not disappoint:
Terry is the unofficial star of @PulpTheFilm help us find him in time for the premiere #findterry pic.twitter.com/iGSvVjTqbt
— Pulp The Film (@PulpTheFilm) June 6, 2014
"Iwannamake a movie, so let's star in it together." Incredibly jealous of everyone seeing #PulpTheFilm today.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 7, 2014
RT @TheJoeHarland: Hammersmith Broadway pays respects. R I P Richie. pic.twitter.com/Yy0pxjJxUW
— Jason Arnopp(@JasonArnopp) June 10, 2014
pic.twitter.com/6zq0UEczpB
— jock (@jock4twenty) June 10, 2014
pic.twitter.com/BKFqsAyv4H
— jock (@jock4twenty) June 10, 2014
On the 12th and 13th of June 2014, to tie in with the beginning of the Football World Cup, a free issue of Rupert Murdoch agenda organ The Sun was distributed by the Royal Mail to 22 million homes in England. It was offensive, racist, jingoistic and apparently illegal:
A lot of people are very angry about receiving a free copy of The Sun , I've decided to treat it as a sociological experiment. #FreeSun
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Things learned from #FreeSun's front page: The Queen is massive
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Things learned from #FreeSun's front page: Nigel Farragelooks as though he’s going to sneeze into his pint.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Things learned from #FreeSun's front page: Harry Potter is tickling Craig Charles’ chin with his broomstick.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Things learned from #FreeSun's front page: Amir Khan looks like he’s going to punch Elton John in the back of the head.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Things learned from #FreeSun's front page: Also I’ll bet Ellie Simmonds considers herself Welsh.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Things I learned from the #FreeSun: Page 2 – When asked, Are You Proud To Be English?, 10% of Sun readers answered “Don’t Know”
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Things learned from #FreeSun:#Page3 dropped in favour of piece stating Kelly Brook has “breasts offering what a poet called pneumatic bliss”
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Things learned from #FreeSun: Did James Corden know you were going to paint the England flag across his face?
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Learned from #FreeSun: Xenophobia like charity begins at home & I quote “Who Do We Hate? France. Argentina. Germany. Uruguay. France Again.”
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Learned from #FreeSun:Tony Parsons ignores Chinese & Ancient Greek for piece headlined “No one else on the planet comes close to our genius”
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Learned from #FreeSun: mock ups of front pages from “our proud history” are joined by three real front pages, Hillsborough goes unmentioned.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Learned from #FreeSun:@TheAlexJames shares pulpit with JeremyClarkson& KatieHopkins. Alex, it'd be difficult for you to disappoint me more
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Appalled by #FreeSun:RodLiddlesays“Obviously, the best thing about being English is not being French. Or Belgian. Can you imagine that?..."
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Appalled by #FreeSun:RodLiddlecontinues "Wakingup every morning to the realisation that you’re Belgian? You’d go out of your mind…"
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Appalled by #FreeSun:RodLiddleends "…you’d start self-harming…OK, I jest – a bit.” So, that's Rod Liddlebeing racist for you.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Things learned from #FreeSun: There are 50 great things to do in England including “hum the famous film tune at the DambustersMemorial”
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Learned from #FreeSun: 50 great things to do in England includes “hold a barbecue in weather that could be described as “drizzly”, at best”
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Learned from #FreeSun: 50 great things to do in England includes “take pride in Gotham, Notts– namesake of Batman’s home city”.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
*includes*Learned from #FreeSun:66 English footballers/“proud football history” alongside AlanShearer’s dream team which includes just 1 English player
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Things I learned from the #FreeSun: Final thoughts - The case for Scotland's independence just got better. Get out while you can.
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) June 13, 2014
Sunday, 1 February 2015
Twitter Twatter #8
May.
Jean-Paul Sartre wrote "Hell is other people" but I suspect without ever having to coax hundreds of tangled coathangers into a wicker basket
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) May 3, 2014
I'd be an aloof football manager. I'd sit up in the stand, playing the bassoon
— David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) May 3, 2014
I'd take a picture of myself wearing this amazing tie by @Pixelskaya, but I have no idea how to tie a tie. pic.twitter.com/XKRGDRkHy1
— Ron 'C64' Gilbert (@grumpygamer) May 3, 2014
"Knock, Knock."
"Who's there?"
"Doctor"
"DoctorWho?"
"DoctorWho And The Ghosts Of N-Space"
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) May 18, 2014
This guy is fantastic, puts govpolicy on benefits, corporate tax & figures misuse into context & shames the elite: https://t.co/myjfcT2l3X
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) May 18, 2014
Hot dog! Jumping from...almond cookies
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) May 30, 2014
Hell hath no fury (no relation), like a woman with a nailgunscorned #AgentsofSHIELD
— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) May 30, 2014
Friday, 30 January 2015
Clifford Lists...Every United State Of America
Clifford takes it upon himself to list every single one of the United States Of America:
Almost.
Almost.
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