Here are the first five daysworth from the Evening Standard list of '30 Things To Do Before You're 30'.
So let's start as I mean to go on:
Buy a property
The Evening Standard list goes on to say: "Buying whole buildings may be unrealistic - less than half of Londoners are expected to own their own homes by 2021. But with house prices predicted to rise 21 per cent in five years, property remains a great investment. Pool your pittance with friends and family for a hope of owning a room or two."
My pittance would not go very far at all. Rich and generous benefactors feel free to get in touch...
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Have a baby (if you're a woman)
The Evening Standard article reads "We've all read those scary news stories - surely every 29-year-old is quaking with infertility fear? Now Beyoncé, our top role model, has got herself pre-30 pregnant. Time to follow suit."
I have nothing against Beyoncé, but she's your top role model?
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Avoid having a baby (if you're a man)
So far, so good. I am a babyless man.
ES: "Male and female aspirations are rarely so divided as on the issue of whether trapping yourself in a 24/7 cycle of sleeplessness and regret is a good idea while you're still young."
Whereas women love a 24/7 cycle of sleeplessness and regret? I find it odd that rather than writing about what these babyless men could be doing with all the apparent extra time they will presumably have outside the trap and instead writing a sentence that men and women often envision different things. What a revelation.
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ES: "A gap year after 30 is career suicide. Get South-East Asia out of your system."
Two years in Germany (and a host of travelling) with the family may not really qualify as a gap year, but I have lived abroad. There are places that I'd still love to go, but I'm not sure that South-East Asia is in my system.
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Build your brand
Crikey. The world has changed.
ES: "No fibbing now - everyone has Googled themself. If you're not the top search result, something has gone wrong. Regular commenters on your blog and 1,000 Twitter followers are also essential."
As David Mitchell pointed out on an episode of The Bubble that while it used to be deemed embarrassing to Google your own name, but now it's odder not to do so. Upon Googling my name I discovered I am not the first listing for David Black and I don't really know how to improve my standing. I don't Twitter and while comments on my blog are not particularly regular I am still very grateful to the 59 people who follow it and anyone who does choose to comment. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you all.