Friday, 23 September 2011

Fifteen Days 'Til Thirty

In fifteen days I will be thirty years old.

Here are another ten daysworth from the Evening Standard list of '30 Things To Do Before You're 30'.

Day 6
Leave home


Evening Standard: "With rental prices up 14.5 per cent over the past year, leaving the parental home isn't easy - but life begins when you fly the nest."

I moved out to attend university and almost never looked back.

- - -

Day 7
Look after the pennies

I still have the 'penny jar' that I raised my college fund in. I still religiously put any 1p, 2p and 5p pieces that come my way into it.

"You won't earn much interest but the sensible are saving for fantasies such as houses and retirement."

I don't think the college fund will quite cover that.

- - -

Day 8
Drop out


ES: "So what if you still can't touch your toes? You can't let that stop you ditching your desk and becoming a yoga teacher. Escape the rat race before it gets you hooked."

I think I could successfully argue that I've dropped out, but it could just as easily be argued that I've merely joined another rat race.

- - -

Day 9


ES: "Living alone is said to cost £3,500 more per year than sharing. But learning to live in harmony with boyfriends, girlfriends and friends takes practice. Test out potential partners now."

Sarah and would quite like that £3,500 in cash, please.

- - -

Day 10
Have a threesome or a moresome


ES: "While legend suggests you may reach your "prime" in your thirties, you won't have the time or the energy for such adventurous antics. Indulge in a little sexual experimentation now."

I don't think my girlfriend would be keen on this, and for the record if she is then I'm not.

- - -

Day 11
Own a designer handbag

Really? This is an important landmark of your twenties? Ridiculous.

ES: "Be it Miu Miu and crafted from calf-skin or a classic Mulberry Bayswater, the perfect bag, paid for with your own hard-earned cash, equals job satisfaction by the bucketload."

I have no idea what any of these names mean, but I can't imagine that a bag could possibly be worth what these sound like they cost. I suppose the cost can only be justified because the intricate work involved in the manufacture of such bags can only be achieved with the tiny fingers of the Indonesian children that make them. Appalling.

- - -

Day 12
Grow a pair

Last time I checked...

ES: "And learn to stand up for yourself. While your early twenties are all about "people pleasing", honing an ability to fight your own battles is essential. Learn how to say "no" and, more importantly, how to entertain the notion of being right."

Oh, I see. I still say yes too often.

- - -

Day 13
Always wear sunscreen

I always forget.

ES: "Baz Luhrmann was right: with skin cancer now the most common form among twentysomethings, playing it safe in the sun is essential. And you'll be thankful for that wrinkle-free skin when you turn 40."

If "skin cancer now the most common form among twentysomethings", then surely this should be on a list of things to do before you're twenty?

- - -

Day 14
Dump the debt

Weren't you just telling me to waste money on a handbag? And to buy a house?

ES: "Your days of student profligacy are long gone yet repayment letters are still coming as the interest on your debt increases. Whether it's the average £13,000 or £20,000, it's time to settle with the Student Loans Company."

I have debts and I plan on repaying them.

- - -

Day 15
Build up your black book

I try.

ES: "Information is power, and with it comes opportunity. In London, networking ability will always stand you in good stead."

This is something I could definitely improve on. There are many people out there that owe me a favour and I never seem to get round to collecting on that debt.


Brent Wescott said...

Maybe I just don't know the Evening Standard, but some of this advice is indeed contradictory, or at least strange to hear in a general publication. And "always wear sunscreen" is old advice, attributed to everyone from Woody Allen to mark Twain. Still, good advice.

Dave said...

The Evening Standard has decided that it is London's moral compass, but grows more inconsistent by the day.

Would Mark Twain have used sunscreen? Everything I learned about him I know from Time's Arrow, but I would assume that sunscreen is a twentieth century invention...I could be wrong.

Brent Wescott said...

It's just that Twain seems to be attributed to any witty quote. I actually think the most common sunscreen quote attribution is Kurt Vonnegut.

Dave said...

Oh. I probably could have worked that out if I'd thought a bit more about it.

It turns out that the Kurt Vonnegut thing is erroneous.