Sunday, 1 January 2017

My Predictions For 2017

As with last year, I have once again made predictions concerning the events of the forthcoming year.

Here are my predictions for 2017:

  • Mexico will build the wall and they will pay for it, but not until substantial parts of Southern California, Arizona, New Mexico and, in move that confounds cartography, Rhode Island secede from the union and become Mexican.

  • Time travel is will have going to be invented for the first time. Again.

  • Hundreds of thousands of people will be embarrassed to discover that LOL, the acronym that they have been innocently using for years, actually stands for Lusting Over Lenin.

  • Due to the critical acclaim afforded to 2016's extra second, 2017 will be awarded a second second.

  • The Carmarthenshire village of Bancyfelin will inexplicably win Miss Universe.

Happy New Year.

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