I'm having all sorts of problems with my tax return. Not with the traditional setback of working out how much I should pay, that's relatively simple. Instead I'm struggling to log on to the HMRC website in the first place. It's a long, complicated and boring story and one that I'm confident I'll have resolved before the deadline at the end of the month, but it's frustrating that I have put in a day and got nowhere.
I will be spending at least some of today telephoning automated helplines and getting irritated in the hope that I can get to the bottom of User IDs, Passwords and Activation PINs that don't seem to work.
Lister: Smeg! Outland Revenue!
Rimmer: Oh, oh, oh, oh! Outland Revenue!
Rimmer: 8500? That's a lot of tax, isn't it, Listy? How on Titan are you going to pay for that?
Lister: I'm not. It's yours.
Rimmer: What? This is wrong! This is dead wrong!
Lister: Relax, it doesn't matter now. Not gonna catch you now, are they?
Rimmer: What? Just because we're three million years into deep space and the human species is extinct? That means nothing to these people. They'll find us.