Big Damn Heroics: R. Tam, Session 416 - Second Excerpt & Episode Death Tolls

Spatial Anomaly also covered the first of The R. Tam Sessions, Session 416 - Second Excerpt.

Accompanied by an article about episode death tolls exclusive to patrons.

Please consider popping over to Spatial Anomaly for a butcher's.

My 2021

It's been another weird year.

I can confirm that looking after a two year old, is much more difficult than looking after a one year old. This rate of mathematical progression does not fill me with confidence in light of my impending duty to look after a three year old.

As far as I am aware I did not not get Covid, but instead I did get two vaccine doses and booster, which was pretty incredible given where we were this time last year.  

I wrote twelve articles for Hero Collector: Doctor Who Top 10 Modern Cliffhangers, Beat Blue Monday, George Lucas' THX 1138 @50, Star Trek End of the Enterprise, X-Men: First Class @10, Attack The Block @10, The Earth is Doomed!, The Expanse @10, Captain America @10, 007: Top 10 Pre-Title Sequences, Dark Season @30. and The Expanse Boasts A USP For Sci-Fi Fans. That's almost one a month.

Outside In Wants To Believe was published containing my article, You Say Goodbye, And I Say Hello.

Spatial Anomaly published Big Damn Heroics episode guides about the Firefly episodes: Serenity: The Pilot, The Train Job, Bushwhacked, Shindig, Safe, Our Mrs Reynolds, Jaynestown, Out of Gas, Ariel, War Stories, Trash, The Message, Heart of Gold and Objects in Space, as well as The R. Tam Sessions 416 Second excerpt, 1 and 22.

While there were articles that were exclusive to patrons about the deleted scenes from Serenity: The Pilot, Our Mrs Reynolds and Objects in Space. episode orders, opening narrations, character profiles of Badger, Niska, Saffron and the Hands of Blue, A History of the 'verse Part One & Two, Top Ten Firefly Flashbacks, Screentime, Top Ten Death Tolls and an analysis of the opening titles. 

Spatial Anomaly was neglected in the second half of the year, but I'm planning on continuing it in the new year.

There was also a top secret project that took up any free time that I had. I'll let you know what it was as soon as I can...

Big Damn Heroics: Heart of Gold & Screentime

Big Damn Heroics moved onto Heart of Gold.

And there was an article regarding amount of screentime dedicated to each character that was only available to patrons.

So, please drop by and have a look at Spatial Anomaly.

Big Damn Heroics: The Message & Flashbacks

In the same way that this blog suffered so did Spatial Anomaly. Big Damn Heroics continued its examination of Firefly with an article about The Message...

And another that is exclusive for subscribers about the use of Flashbacks in the series.

So, please drop by and have a look at Spatial Anomaly.

Announcing Big Damn Heroics

This is something of an experiment: I plan to write about an episode of Joss Whedon's science fiction/western series Firefly every week for the next approximately fourteen weeks and if wildly successful, possibly beyond. I'm calling it Big Damn Heroics

Firefly concerned the spaceship Serenity, its crew and passengers and the adventures that blurred line between the two. The TV show premiered in 2002, was sorely mistreated by its network and cancelled all too soon after. 

In total, there were fourteen episodes broadcast, albeit in the wrong order, in varying timeslots and often pre-empted by sports events or movie repeats. I'm going to be writing about the series in its intended broadcast order, which is also the how the episodes were presented on the DVD and Blu-ray releases. I would argue that it has pretty much supplanted the original broadcast order. That said, I'll be definitely making lots of references to the contradictions and confusions that this caused. 

Each Saturday, I will publish an article on Patreon about a new episode, beginning with:

1) Firefly: Serenity - The Pilot

2) Firefly: The Train Job 

3) Firefly: Bushwhacked (16th January 2021)

4) Firefly: Shindig (23rd January 2021)

5) Firefly: Safe (30th January 2021)

6) Firefly: Our Mrs Reynolds (6th February 2021)

7) Firefly: Jaynestown (13th February 2021)

8) Firefly: Out Of Gas (20th February 2021)

9) Firefly: Ariel (27th February 2021)

10) Firefly: War Stories (6th March 2021)

11) Firefly: Trash (13th March 2021)

12) Firefly: The Message (20th March 2021)

13) Firefly: Heart Of Gold (27th March 2021)

14) Firefly: Objects In Space (3rd April 2021)

If these first fourteen find an audience then we can talk about the movie, the webisodes, the comics, the short stories and the novels in subsequent articles.

So please join me every Saturday for some Firefly.

Twitter Twatter #73

August 2019 Twitter

Sigourney Weaver test-firing the flamethrower from Alien (1979) pic.twitter.com/7kKaSHre89

— 41 Strange (@41Strange) August 7, 2019

I don’t regard @BorisJohnson as prime minister. He doesn’t represent me or the nation’s interests in any way at all. Retweet if you agree.

— Tim Walker (@ThatTimWalker) August 8, 2019

yo this is some looney tunes logic and I love it with all of my chest pic.twitter.com/pWNFZcRpK0

— mn (@MamoudouNDiaye) July 29, 2019

I've seen a few of these on twitter and not found it difficult to know where to sit.

Curse you @whedonesque, this is impossible. https://t.co/r5oD3Glxk4

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) August 13, 2019

I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road. STEPHEN HAWKING

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 20, 2019

Monday pic.twitter.com/uDxzI0voon

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) August 20, 2019

Just another day in America. pic.twitter.com/rJaF5vCDbK

— Only in America (@Crazzyintheusa) August 28, 2019

Star Trek is all about the present.
The future Is yet to be written.
You don’t like the world of “Past Tense?”
Work to prevent it. https://t.co/PbEDDU5nG2

— Ira Steven Behr (@IraStevenBehr) August 31, 2019

Hungry Trees pic.twitter.com/cIYHgGEsY2

— 41 Strange (@41Strange) August 31, 2019

The old woman I’m cat sitting for has her mugshot framed. What a boss bitch. pic.twitter.com/sja6sF6XpJ

— Neanderthot (@smashyouburn) August 31, 2019

Seaside Kung Fu experiment pic.twitter.com/PtfXA1087x

— Jim Moir (@JamesMoir10) August 31, 2019

Unfortunately we’ve lost a few supporters due to our stance on Brexit, but this is exactly why we just can’t be impartial.

Please follow and RT if you remain right behind us - the NHS needs your support more than ever.https://t.co/a3lSwNggdk

— NHS Million (@NHSMillion) August 31, 2019

Tagged

Taglines, those pithy one-liners on movie posters, come in all shapes and sizes. Some are great and some are...not so great. Some are beyond awful, while some are works of art in their own right.

I've written this piece about the good, the bad and the ugly of science fiction movie taglines.

Outside In Gains A Soul Gains Essay Titles

ATB Publishing have announced the titles of the essays, who wrote them and which episode of Angel and Firefly they correspond to. There are lots of essays to enjoy by people that aren't me, including the likes of Jonathum Blum, Keith R.A. Candido, Rich Handley, Robert Greenberger and Dave Stone as well as 121 other people.

My essay is about Conviction, the first episode of the fifth and final season of Angel. The episode sees Angel Investigations getting used to their new surroundings at the heart of Wolfram &...Hart. Oddly, this means I have now written about the last season opener for both Buffy and Angel. It wasn't planned.

Also on the list that nearly wasn't is The R. Tam Sessions, a series of internet videos that Joss Whedon shot with Summer Glau as promotion for the release of Serenity. It had initially been overlooked as this volume was being prepared and yours truly stuck his oar in. My apologies to all concerned. I'm looking forward to seeing what Kelli Fitzpatrick has done with it.

Outside In Gains A Soul Is Available For Pre-Order

Fresh from dealing with Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, the latest volume of the Outside In series of books has turned its unshakeable gaze toward spinoff series Angel. Outside In Gains A Soul is available for pre-order at a 15% discount here.

But wait there's more: Outside In Gains A Soul not only focusses o each and every episode of TV's Angel, but also Firefly, its big screen follow up Serenity and, thanks in part to yours truly, it's obscure online curio The R. Tam Sessions.

You're welcome.

Outside In Gains A Soul is available for pre-order at a 15% discount here.

Twitter Twatter #18

April 2015

#BieberRoast? No, thank you. I've eaten.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 1, 2015

More alternating Futurama intros:

Condemned by the Space Pope

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 1, 2015

If there isn't a Tiger Woods biography called The Tiger Who Came To Tee then what is the point of anything?

— [⋅.⋅ ] ( °_°) (@sleepwalkingdog) April 2, 2015

with more folk considering voting UKIP, this seems relevant pic.twitter.com/vuemwkymCs

— thrillhouse(@blinkclyro) April 1, 2015

Filmed On Location

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 2, 2015

Very pleased to have a couple of sketches in this week's @NewsRevue2015 at the @CanalCafe.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 3, 2015

TransmitidoenMartian enSAP

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 4, 2015

So is today Easter Saturday or Good Saturday?

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 4, 2015

Proudly Made on Earth.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 5, 2015

In the kingdom of the blind, the monoid one is king. #DoctorWho's #TheArk

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

Live from Omicron Persei8

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

I drew this:

It's a third of a crocodile. I call it 'Make it snappy' pic.twitter.com/8KzHQx8c1o

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

The middle of a triptych, continuing the themes & forms of the first whilst hinting at change, plus big reptiles pic.twitter.com/hNTS0TjSmn

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

There's a self-portrait of the artist holding a #CurlyWurly hidden in Part 3. Don't feel bad if you can't see it. pic.twitter.com/3NwPhY1qsI

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

Made from meat by-products

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

It must have been a bank holiday:

Grandma has got new dentures To eat the crust on pizza Been taken out by her daughter Because she thought she ought'a

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

The kids are eating #Snickers Because they're so delicious Then there's sticky fingers And mother loses her knickers

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

#BankHoliday comes six times a year Days of enjoyment to which everyone cheers

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

#BankHoliday comes with a six pack of beer ...then it's back to work A.G.A.I.N.

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

Bar-b-queis cooking Sausages and chicken The patio is buzzing The neighbours they are looking

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

John is down the fun pub Drinking lots of lager Girls and boys are on the game All the high streets look the same

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

Back to work A.G.A.I.N. #BankHoliday

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

>>NotY3K Compliant<<

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 6, 2015

can't seem to stop with this sketch theme... #TwinPeaks #SaveTwinPeaks pic.twitter.com/RHPydmnbxy

— Barbarian Lord (@BarbarianLord) April 7, 2015

I'm happy to keep Trident as long as we rename it About 50000 New Nurses Or 1 Million Affordable Homes Plus New Schools And Hospitals.

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) April 9, 2015

Withnail& Thigh #AddABodyPartToAFilm

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 9, 2015

The Purple Toes Of Cairo #AddABodyPartToAFilm

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 9, 2015

Serenitknee#AddABodyPartToAFilm

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 9, 2015

The Italian Gob #AddABodyPartToAFilm (I took the moral high road with this one)

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 9, 2015

Just seen @NewsRevue2015. Seriously good - can see why it earns 5 star reviews. Check it out if you can via @CanalCafe.

— Daniel Page (@coiledslinky) April 11, 2015

From The Makers Of #Futurama

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 14, 2015

-England for the English? Good heavens, man! -I have a duty to my country. -Not to the world? Jon Pertwee's Doctor, 1971: not a UKIP voter.

— Nicholas Pegg(@NicholasPegg) April 18, 2015

Based On a True Story

— David Black (@Davetweetedthis) April 22, 2015

Top Ten Security Officers

The ship has a captain, a first officer, a doctor, an engineer and a pilot. Now it's time for a security officers.

Whether you call them security guards, stormtroopers or redshirts you'll probably need them in the end. Obviously there is a crossover with law enforcement, but I've resisted making this a list of my Top Ten police officers. Almost making the list were Aeryn Sun from Farscape and Star Trek's Lieutenants Yar and Reed.

Here's my list of Top Ten Security Officers:

10 - Detritus
The first Troll to join Discworld's Ankh-Morpork City Watch. Unintelligent even by Troll standards, his IQ has been boosted by a clockwork-powered fan in his helmet which cools his brain down to improve his mental capacity. He rose through the ranks to reach Sergeant and started a personal crusade against a Troll drug called Slab. Detritus carries battlefield artillery as a hand weapon and, in a fight, you would want him to be on your side.

9 - Mike Watt
Mike was thrown out of the Territorial Army because he stole a Chieftain tank and tried to invade Paris, but stopped at EuroDisney and got caught on Space Mountain. Tim's best friend in Spaced is always armed, efficient and provides security with a smile.

8 - Worf
Star Trek: The Next Generation's Klingon became security chief following the death of Tasha Yar. It was a promotion he found dishonourable, but it was an assignment he carried out impressively for the next seven years. Don't be fooled by the silly bouffant hair-do, his dour demeanour, his scowl, his martial arts ability and his skill with bladed weapons all made him an imposing security officer. You definitely wouldn't want to mess with Worf.

7 - Carrot Ironfoundersson
Captain of Ankh-Morpork's City Watch, six foot tall honorary Dwarf and heir to the city's throne. Carrot is very thorough and knows everyone in the city by name, but often struggles with the city's shades of grey. His literal mind causes friction with the likes of the city's, entirely legal, Thieves Guild and during a murder investigation he interviewed the Discworld's Death itself. He is just the sort of solid and dependable sort you would feel secure around.

6 - Tuvok
Star Trek: Voyager's Security Chief anticipated security risks and dealt with them in a very logical fashion. He investigated crimes, trained underperforming crewmembers, took command when necessary and even went undercover to provide security and he did so without the back up a Starfleet security officer could expect to receive in the Alpha Quadrant. Just don't let him investigate any motiveless crimes...

5 - Delphine Angua von Überwald
The first woman to join Discworld's Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Angua rose through the ranks to reach Captain. She is also a werewolf which heightens her senses and gives you another reason not to get on the wrong side of her. As a wolf she has a taste for chicken, but always returns in human form to leave some money for their previous owner. As a human she is a strict vegetarian. She describes herself as a wolf that lives with humans.

4 - Jayne Cobb
Less of a security guard and more of a mercenary. Firefly & Serenity's muscle could be mistaken for a very simple man who works for the highest bidder, but is actually a very simple man with hints at hidden depths who works for the highest bidder and occasionally feels guilt about who that bidder might be. He respects the chain of command: "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here!" Armed with a gun named Vera and a pretty cunning hat, 'The Hero Of Canton' is not someone you want to mess with.

3 - Odo
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine's Changeling Chief of Security was an outsider even among outsiders. The Constable's species had an inate sense of justice and Odo used his to police the spacestation under three very different political regimes stating "Laws change depending on who's making them, but justice is justice." His shapeshifting abilities enabled him to assume the form of an inanimate object, observe criminal activity and arrest accordingly, all without ever picking up a weapon.

2 - Agent 355
Y: The Last Man's Agent 355 was a Culper Ring secret agent who was assigned to be bodyguard to the last man alive. Handy with weapons and repeatedly fended off multiple attackers. She spent five years looking after man, Mann and monkey at close quarters without letting a love triangle distract her. Much.

1 - Samuel Vimes
To give him his full title: His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes. Yep. Vimes is in charge of the City Watch in Ankh-Morpork, but he isn't some chinless upper class twit. Instead he is a born copper who has married into the aristocracy and crucially he understands the mentality of the mob. He just gets people. Vimes won't tell you want you want to hear, but he will tell you what you need to hear. If you want to feel secure, Vimes is your man.

Who are your favourites?

Next month: Top Ten Firefly episodes.

Top Ten Pilots

Whether they sit in the pilot seat, at the helm or the conn, every spaceship needs someone to do the steering. After finding a captain, first officer, doctor and engineer, the fifth crew member I need to recruit is the pilot. It wasn't until I started compiling this list that I realised how few pilots in fiction are portrayed as anything other than fantastic.

Deserving of honourable mentions are M.A.S.K.'s Matt Trakker, Brad Turner and Vanessa Warfield, who all drove land vehicles that at the push of a button became aircraft as well as Miles Mayhem whose helicopter turned into an aeroplane and Millennium Falcon pilot extraordinaire Han Solo from Star Wars.

Here's my list of Top Ten Pilots:

10 - Mary Margaret O'Connell
Maggie to her friends. Northern Exposure's sarcastic and intelligent bush pilot would make a great companion on those those long isolated flights. She is the only woman to make the top ten which is disappointing because it seems art is barely imitating life and real life female aviators like Amy Johnson and Amelia Earhart.

9 - Geordi LaForge
One of the visual metaphors used to illustrate the technological advancement of Star Trek: The Next Generation saw them put a blind man in the driving seat. Geordi would become a better engineer than he was a helmsman and it would be the VISOR that gave him sight or his friendship with Data that would involve him in stories rather than his piloting abilities, but the precision with which he exercised the rest of his duties would have made him a safe pair of hands at the conn.

8 - Pilot
Farscape's pilot was simply called Pilot and as such didn't really have much of an identity outside of his duties. He was bonded to Moya, the living Leviathan ship, and guided her, was aware of her pain and was only able to leave her under very extreme circumstances.

7 - Virgil Tracy
The five Tracy brothers are probably all very good pilots, but Virgil pips the others to the list because he sits at the controls of my favourite of the Thunderbirds, namely heavy duty transport plane: Thunderbird 2.

6 - Tom Paris
Star Trek: Voyager's conn artist broke the Warp 10 barrier at the cost of his own health, helped design and build the first Delta Flyer, raced in the Antarian Trans-stellar Rally, failed a Ledosian pilot's course with the best possible excuse and flew Captain Proton's holographic rocket ship, a shuttle called Alice, two Delta Flyers and was at the helm of the USS Voyager all the way home.

5 - H.M. Murdock
Apparently he excelled himself serving as a helicopter pilot during the Vietnam war, which is probably what sent him Howling Mad. After being accused of a crime he didn't commit, he joined The A-Team. Murdock could fly just about any helicopter or plane The A-Team needed him too and more impressively he even managed to get B.A. Baracus in a plane, fool.

4 - Anakin Skywalker
From The Phantom Menace podracing to the chasing his son's X-Wing in A New Hope, via the weaving dogfights of the animated Clone Wars, the once and future Sith Lord from Star Wars proved he had the skill and the midichlorians to be a phenomenal pilot.

3 - Hoban Washburne
Wash to his friends was clearly a good pilot and would have been welcome in any crew, but it was his sense of humour that helped make Firefly and Serenity a joy to watch. He would prefer to run and hide, but was an asset when forced to stay and fight. Wash could outrun the fastest of Alliance ships with manoeuvres like his Crazy Ivan. He was a leaf on the wind, watch how he soared.

2 - Hikaru Sulu
Star Trek's helmsman aboard two USS Enterprises, but could also turn his hand to flying a Klingon Bird-of-Prey, a Huey helicopter and he also manually docked a shuttlecraft during a combat situation on his first attempt. I pretty much believe that Sulu could fly practically anything.

1 - Cat
Red Dwarf's resident Felis Sapien probably seems like an odd choice, but when the boys from the Dwarf lose their mothership it's the Cat that becomes Starbug's pilot of choice. He has what Kryten describes as "superior reflexes and nasal intuition". It's easy to see how superior reflexes would make him a great pilot, but nasal intuition may take a little explaining. The Cat's olfactory awareness is better than Starbug's sensors and he can smell things that threaten the ship even in the vacuum of space. Clearly impossible, but very impressive nonetheless. Ironically for a character described as "mind-meltingly shallow" and largely defined by his fashion sense and sexual urges, piloting seems to be the one thing that he takes seriously even to the point of resenting a rogue baked potato timer in the cockpit.

Who are your favourites?

Next Month: Security Officers

Top Ten Engineers

Every spaceship needs an engineer to get it off the ground, to add to the ever expanding crew roster of captain, first officer and doctor. In compiling this list I realised there is a great deal of overlap in fiction between engineers, inventors, mechanics and scientists. I suppose engineers are more concerned with fixing existing engines than they are with inventing new ones.

Here's my list of Top Ten Engineers:

10 - Bruce Sato
In addition to being M.A.S.K.'s mechanical engineer and Matt Trakker's right hand man is also a toy designer and a Confucian philosopher. Sato drove Rhino, the truck which converted into M.A.S.K.'s mobile HQ. In the cartoon his mask was called Lifter and it created an anti-gravity field that enabled him to lift heavy objects, while his second mask in the toy range was called Grasshopper and allowed him to jump great distances (and presumably worked exactly the same way as Lifter, but in reverse).

9 - Charles Tucker III
'Trip' to his friends, Tucker worked on the Warp 2 NX-Beta program and so was enormously proud of the Warp 5 engine aboard his NX-01 Enterprise. The NX-01 left Earth unfinished and Trip was forced to install parts of it on the move. Despite the lack of exposure his species had to alien and holographic technology somehow Trip successfully managed to fix both repeatedly.

8 - B'Elanna Torres
Following the death of the USS Voyager's Chief Engineer, Torres sufficiently impressed her captain to be promoted to the position over a superior officer. She proved to be very adept with warp engines, transporters, holograms, robotics and arguing.

7 - Reginald Barclay
Nervous and obsessive compulsive, but genius holographic engineer who suffers from bouts of holodiction, transporter phobia and arachnophobia. Served on two USS Enterprises, Jupiter Station and the Pathfinder Project. He was briefly the most intelligent man that had ever lived, de-evolved to a spider and successfully achieved two way communication with the distant USS Voyager.

6 - Geordi LaForge
Originally Star Trek: The Next Generation didn't have a regular Chief Engineer, but over the course of its first season the writers realised they needed one. Hence possibly the fastest promotion in Star Trek. LaForge was Chief Engineer on two USS Enterprises. He was an expert in computers, holograms, cybernetics and thanks to a bit of time travel he also invented the intermix chamber for Earth's first ever warp flight.

5 - 'Brains'
Aircraft, submarines, spacecraft and huge tunnelling drills: the inventor of the Thunderbirds built them all. 'Brains' is clearly a mechanical genius and he has obviously earned his nickname, but deserves even more credit for using the excellent alias of Hiram Hackenbacker.

4 - Kaywinnet Lee Frye
Firefly and Serenity's 'Kaylee' just seems to understand engines intuitively. On her first day aboard she diagnosed a problem whilst having sex with the ship's subsequently former engineer. Mal offered her a job on the spot and she managed to keep his boat in the air, even without a port compression coil in proper working order.

3 - Montgomery Scott
Known to just about everyone as 'Scotty'. He was Chief Engineer aboard two Enterprises and an Excelsior. He was the inventor of both transparent aluminium and transwarp beaming. Scotty also got a reputation as a Miracle Worker. His attitude to technological improvement is probably best summed up with the quote "The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain" and yet he was still capable of keeping up after he spent 75 years in a transporter beam in stasis.

2 - Miles O'Brien
O'Brien was an enlisted man with a wealth of engineering and tactical experience. He served as Transporter Chief, married and raised a daughter aboard the USS Enterprise-D, but O'Brien was apparently a man who liked a challenge. He transferred to the recently abandoned Deep Space Nine as Chief of Operations and transformed it from an almost derelict space station in orbit of Bajor to a fully functioning one at the mouth of the wormhole, which then enabled it to become "the most important piece of real estate in the Alpha Quadrant". He fixed the design faults of two USS Defiants and retrofitted DS9's weapon systems and saw it through two wars. It seemed that there was nothing he couldn't fix.

1 - Rom
His skills went unappreciated in a culture which prizes business acumen above all things, but Rom was possibly the only waiter in the universe capable of successfully combining Ferengi, Cardassian, Bajoran and Starfleet technology. Rom signed on as a Diagnostic and Repair Technician, Junior Grade in DS9's waste extraction and also worked as an unlikely spy, terrorist and mercenary, before becoming Grand Nagus of the entire Ferengi Alliance. He had a talent for seeing the bigger picture which saw him save the Prophets from genocide, design the minefield at the mouth of the Wormhole which prevented the Dominion from receiving reinforcements and changed the course of the war saving billions of lives. Rom might just be the single most important character in all of Star Trek. When I first published this, Rom was at number #4, which was deemed too high by one reader. I reassessed what I'd written and instead decided that Rom was more deserving of the top spot.

Who are your favourites?

Next month: Top Ten Pilots

Top Ten Doctors

After my top ten lists of spaceships, captain and first officers. I decided every spaceship needs a doctor.

I should clarify that this is not a list of my favourite characters who are also doctors, but a list of the top ten fictional doctors that I would have the most faith in as a patient.

Special mentions for Northern Exposure's Dr. Joel Fleischman and Leonard Quinhagak, Dr. Mann from Y: The Last Man, Dr. Martha Jones from Doctor Who, Zhaan from Farscape and Dr. John Carter, Dr. Elizabeth Corday, Dr. Robert Romano, Dr. Abby Lockhart, Dr. Neela Riscotra and Dr Archie Morris from ER. I'm also very fond of Futurama's Dr. Zoidberg, but his lack of anatomy knowledge precludes him from making the list.

Here is my list of Top Ten Doctors:

10 - Dr. Simon Tam
The brilliant trauma surgeon in Firefly and Serenity who gave everything up to protect his sister, became a fugitive and traded his medical abilities for protection. He treated gunshot wounds, narrowly avoided being burned as a witch and began to uncover the mystery that was River's brain.

9 - Dr. Beverly Crusher
The Chief Medical Officer of two USS Enterprises and head of Starfleet Medical for a year. She was mother to Wesley, one of Captain Picard's oldest friends and over the course of Star Trek: The Next Generation this doctor wrote and directed plays, commanded the ship, found herself trapped in a warp bubble, got turned into a dog, unwittingly caused the crew to de-evolve and was known for a time as the Dancing Doctor. Sadly, Crusher was the TNG character given the least to do in their four film outings.

8 - Dr. John Watson
Sherlock Holmes' friend and the chronicler of their adventures was a doctor written by a doctor. Watson tempered the irascibility of Holmes and his medical knowledge was vital in solving several cases.

7 - The Doctor
Describing himself as a doctor of many things, initially the Doctor of Doctor Who denied being a doctor of medicine and said that he failed to get a medical degree, but somewhere on his travels he did study medicine and gained a doctorate under Joseph Lister in Glasgow in 1888. Later he had advanced medical knowledge and assisted in complex neurosurgery, used cloning, could diagnose by touching someone's ear, could cure time vortex problems with a kiss and made a cure as infectious as the diseases it cured. I have used a photograph of the Second Doctor, but it could easily have been any of them. Just don't follow the advice of his predecessor on treating a fever from The Ark...

6 - Dr. Phlox
The Interspecies Medical Exchange doctor aboard Star Trek: Enterprise's NX-01 had a dozen degrees, cured the Klingon Augment virus and is apparently the only person to resist Borg assimilation. Phlox used his time aboard Enterprise to study humanity and refreshingly did so with a smile on his face.

5 - Surgeon Lieutenant Harry Sullivan
Doctor Who's UNIT doctor who initially saw the Fourth Doctor through his post-regenerative trauma, helped defeat Think Tank and the Giant Robot. He travelled in the TARDIS into the future and helped humanity survive a Wirrn attack and a Sontaran experiment, he witnessed the genesis of the Daleks, the Cybermen's attack on Voga and helped prevent invasions of Earth by the Zygons and the Kraals. In the words of the Doctor (the other one) "Harry Sullivan is an imbecile!", but he was probably the most endearing imbecile to ever walk on this or any other planet.

4 - Dr. Mark Greene
The lynchpin of ER and easily the best doctor on this list without the benefit of space medicine or time travel. Greene had excellent bedside manner. He was intuitive and caught many conditions his fellow doctors missed and often remained at the hospital long after his shift was over to deliver news, good or bad. Being a doctor was shown as effortless for practically all the others listed here, but Greene suffered for his patients and ultimately paid with his own health. His loss was felt for the remainder of the show.

3 - Dr. Leonard McCoy
Doctor McCoy was Chief Medical Officer on two starships Enterprise in two Star Trek series and across six movies. In a long and distinguished career he earned the nickname 'Bones', euthanised his own father, reattached Spock's brain, contracts xenopolycythemia, is cured of xenopolycythemia, eradicated a plague on Dramia II, retired, was drafted, stored Spock's katra in his head, was framed for assassination and helped launch the Enterpise-D.

2 - The Doctor
Activated following his ship's violent relocation to a far flung corner of space and the death of its medical staff, Star Trek: Voyager's Emergency Medical Hologram was forced to grow beyond the limits of his programming as he became the de facto Chief Medical Officer. His knowledge of medicine is encyclopaedic, his interests varied and his bedside manner is abrasive. Initially confined to sickbay he later enjoyed extensive freedoms with the use of his autonomous holographic emitter.

1 - Dr. Julian Bashir
The genetically-engineered doctor of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine mistook a preganglionic fibre for a postganglionic nerve on purpose and graduated second in his class, helped destroy the Harvester biological weapons, survived a telepathic attack from a Lethean, nearly freed the Jem'Hadar of their addiction to Ketracel-White, developed the vaccine for the Teplan Blight, he was kidnapped and replaced by a Changeling infiltrator, he was almost the template for the Long-Term Emergency Hologram (see above), tended wounds and fought in the wars with the Klingons and the Dominion, played as a spy in the holosuites before being recruited against his will to spy for Section 31 for real and was the youngest ever nominee for the prestigious Carrington Award. Bashir had the perfect blend of brains, skill and bedside manner.

Who are your favourites?

Next month: Top Ten Engineers