Microfiction Monday #63 & #17

It's the last Microfiction Monday of the year:


Here's my attempt:

"I propose that we conduct an aerial assault on the lady with the bag of chips. Naturally I'll co-ordinate from here."

"Yes." A sigh. "Sir."

- - - - -

Here's the seventeenth picture:


Here's my response:

The voice on the line asked "Will you accept the charges?"

"OK" I said.

"Theft, arson, rape, murder in the first degree, murder in the..."