Worst Movies Ever

Alex J. Cavanaugh is hosting a blogfest of the Worst Movies Ever...


I'm sure there are other (and probably worse) offenders, but these are the five that sprang to mind:


1) The Island Of Dr. Moreau
The one hundred year anniversary of the HG Wells novel was sadly celebrated with this messy waste of one hundred minutes of your time.


2) Slacker
Pretentious and unwatchable twaddle.


3) Mr And Mrs Smith
This films veers from romance to action to comedy and back, but deals with each genre equally badly.


4) Hellboy
Ron Perlman is wonderful, but this movie is appalling, I've never read the comic so I've no idea if this is representative or not.


5) Psycho
Specifically the 1998 shot-for-shot colour remake. What's the point?

Lenin In London Tomorrow

Lenin In London is tomorrow. Details are here. Entry is by a donation of £5.

Carruthers Camera #19

Five more Carruthers blog photos:

Wood Green gave me four of the following photos. Firstly Safety Signage in the car park of a supermarket.

Caught Red Handed is a photo of a house on the same street and became an Estate Agent post.

Around the corner from the supermarket, Nappy Trash is another in a long line of bin photos.

And further along, Baggy was taken in a flower bed on the edge of a park and ended up in a Drugs post. Unfortunately, you can barely see the cannabis leaf printed on the plastic bag.

Bucking the trend, Test was taken in Southgate, was perfect content for a Glasses post and one that I missed the best possible joke for. I should have commented instead on the tiny writing at the bottom of the sign.

Twenty-Five Days Til Thirty

In twenty-five days I will be thirty years old.

Here are the first five daysworth from the Evening Standard list of '30 Things To Do Before You're 30'.

So let's start as I mean to go on:

Day 1
Buy a property

Oh dear.

The Evening Standard list goes on to say: "Buying whole buildings may be unrealistic - less than half of Londoners are expected to own their own homes by 2021. But with house prices predicted to rise 21 per cent in five years, property remains a great investment. Pool your pittance with friends and family for a hope of owning a room or two."

My pittance would not go very far at all. Rich and generous benefactors feel free to get in touch...

- - -

Day 2
Have a baby (if you're a woman)

Um.

The Evening Standard article reads "We've all read those scary news stories - surely every 29-year-old is quaking with infertility fear? Now Beyoncé, our top role model, has got herself pre-30 pregnant. Time to follow suit."

I have nothing against Beyoncé, but she's your top role model?

- - -

Day 3
Avoid having a baby (if you're a man)

So far, so good. I am a babyless man.

ES: "Male and female aspirations are rarely so divided as on the issue of whether trapping yourself in a 24/7 cycle of sleeplessness and regret is a good idea while you're still young."

Whereas women love a 24/7 cycle of sleeplessness and regret? I find it odd that rather than writing about what these babyless men could be doing with all the apparent extra time they will presumably have outside the trap and instead writing a sentence that men and women often envision different things. What a revelation.

- - -

Day 4
Live abroad

Done.

ES: "A gap year after 30 is career suicide. Get South-East Asia out of your system."

Two years in Germany (and a host of travelling) with the family may not really qualify as a gap year, but I have lived abroad. There are places that I'd still love to go, but I'm not sure that South-East Asia is in my system.

- - -

Day 5
Build your brand

Crikey. The world has changed.

ES: "No fibbing now - everyone has Googled themself. If you're not the top search result, something has gone wrong. Regular commenters on your blog and 1,000 Twitter followers are also essential."

As David Mitchell pointed out on an episode of The Bubble that while it used to be deemed embarrassing to Google your own name, but now it's odder not to do so. Upon Googling my name I discovered I am not the first listing for David Black and I don't really know how to improve my standing. I don't Twitter and while comments on my blog are not particularly regular I am still very grateful to the 59 people who follow it and anyone who does choose to comment. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you all.

Lenin In London

I'm playing Alexeyev in The New Factory Of The Eccentric Actor's production of Lenin In London on Monday the 19th of September at 7:30pm at the Marx Memorial Library.


Marx Memorial Library,
37a Clerkenwell Green,
London EC1R 0DU,
UK.

The nearest train stations to the library are Farringdon on the Circle, Hammersmith & City and Metropolitan lines and Thameslink for British Rail. Buses numbered 55, 63, 243 and 259 all stop near the library.

Thirty Days 'Til Thirty

In thirty days I will be thirty years old.

Inspired by this and more specifically this list that recently appeared in the Evening Standard, I will attempt to do each of the '30 Things To Do Before You're 30' in the next thirty days...

The Future's Owned By You And Me

Sarah and I saw Pulp play live at Brixton Academy last Wednesday and they were fantastic.

One of the many highlights was the number of songs they played that I've never heard live before: 'Countdown', 'Lipgloss', 'Have You Seen Her Lately?', 'Wickerman' and 'Mis-Shapes'...



I think the best way to appreciate the quality of the gig is to read John Aizlewood's appallingly misrepresentative review and interpret that for the most part, the opposite is true.